| Author | Message | ||
| Reb Registered user Username: Reb Post Number: 528 Registered: 5-2007 |
My wife was very angry when she got home from work. She blamed me for turning our son against Adventism and for him not wanting to go to Academy and then tore into me for taking him to Seventh Day Baptist Church this morning and "confusing" him. She basically is now forbidding me to go to SDB church anymore I have to go back to Adventism. I tried to tell her I love the SDB Church all I here there is the Gospel and about Jesus and her response was that I don't need to hear about the Gospel I need to hear about what is going to happen in the "end times" and be toughened up for it which only the SDA church can do. SHe reminded me the SDA Church is the ONLY church that knows the future and that's what's wrong with other Christians. I tried to tell her I just don't want to give the gospel up and she accused the SDB church of "brainwashing" me and lulling me into a false sense of peace. That was her response when I told her about the spiritual peace I had since going to the SDB church. Game over and I lost. I guess I'll have to go back to Adventism and try to be happy though I know I can't. There is NO convincing her. The fact that she said I don't need to hear the Gospel I need to hear eschatology is telling. Sorry but it looks like it's over for me. My happiness is over to because I can never be happy in the Adventist church. GAME OVER AND I LOST!!!!!!!! | ||
| Grace_alone Registered user Username: Grace_alone Post Number: 738 Registered: 6-2006  |
Reb, are you really giving up that easy? | ||
| Kathy23 Registered user Username: Kathy23 Post Number: 27 Registered: 6-2005 |
I'm praying for you Reb. It's not over as long as The Lord has put His gospel in your heart. He called you out and He won't abandon you now. Kathy | ||
| Jeremy Registered user Username: Jeremy Post Number: 2019 Registered: 10-2004  |
Reb, you need to remember the words of Jesus:
Jeremy | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 6527 Registered: 12-2003  |
Reb, God has called you. He will complete what He began in you. He asks us to follow Him even if it means our families turning against us. God knows how to preserve your family, your son's salvation, and accomplish your wife's freedom as well. If you give up, your wife will have no more immediate reason to question. Hey, Reb--YOU've gotta be the leader here! Let her see how a man of God acts with quiet authority and doesn't back down on principles. Sure, she'll be upset, but she won't be able to keep being upset forever. If she finds that you are convicted and not turning back, she will have a new respect for you. I know—because I know how I admire Richard for standing firm for his convictions even when it has meant I was fearful. There's nothing more confidence-building for a wife than seeing her husband act wtih integrity. Think "big picture", Reb—someday you will stand before the Lord Jesus, and you will want to be able to look at Him and know that you trusted Him to keep you honoring Him. Colleen | ||
| Luzisbornagain Registered user Username: Luzisbornagain Post Number: 85 Registered: 7-2007 |
Reb, don't give up that easily. You can't go back after knowing what you know now. In fact this is the time you have to stand up for Jesus in this moment of opposition and exercise your faith during hard times and don't forget prayer. | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 4133 Registered: 3-2004  |
Reb, Stand Tall for Jesus Christ. He has started a good work in you. Don't back down now. I know you love your wife with all you heart, mind and soul. My question to you is do you love Jesus that much??? He has promised to supply your needs and right now you need to stand up for what you believe. Father in Heaven, You are the I AM and our Creator. Because of Jesus, we can come running into your presence, and we can call you Father. So I am running in right now as this is an emergency. Reb's wife does not want him hearing the gospel and wants him back in the SDA church. Oh, God, do not let him go backwards. You have brought him this far. Do not let him slip out of your hands. You know how to take care of this problem, so God, I am leaving Reb and his wife and son in your hands. That is the safest place for them. You are so awesome God. Diana Reb, keep on talking to God, at all times. I will keep you in my prayers. Your Christian sister, Diana Reb, if you are convinced this is what God wants from you and wants you to do, as Honestwitness has done, then do it. But do it if this is what God wants you to do. While in sabbath school and church you can read the Bible and other Christian literature. Like I said, I will keep you in my prayers. | ||
| Jorgfe Registered user Username: Jorgfe Post Number: 564 Registered: 11-2005 |
Reb, Obviously she is upset. I found that I couldn't let my emotions control my actions. Either you believe the Gospel, or you don't. There is a time in everyone's life where they have to decide what their priorities are, and it is not between two easy choices. Right now the decision is between your wife and God. Who will your god be? You can't fool your wife in the long run, it's pointless to fool yourself, and you sure won't fool God. Sooner or later you have to take a stand for what you believe. And if you do, she will have to adjust to that. You are not asking her to change. You are following the guidance of the Holy Spirit in your present quest. It is a fearful thing to turn one's back on the Holy Spirit. Fellowship with other Christians is critical. One possibility would be to go with her on Saturday, and fellowship with a Christian congregation on Sunday. I don't feel good about that in your case, for two reasons. 1. It shows her that your commitment to the Seventh-day Baptist Church is not that significant to you. 2. You introduce the Sabbath question on top of the rest of what you are dealing with. At this point the clearest indication of your leadership would be to stick with faithful attendance at the Seventh-day Baptist Church that you have been fellowshipping with. She doesn't really have a lot of options other that to "throw a fit" and see if she can control you with threats. If she succeeds then she will do it again. Ultimately the only thing that matters is if you can face God on the judgment day with a clear conscience and say I was faithful. I doubt it will require you to say in this case "... unto death." You wife will disagree with you. Mine does with me at times. God expects you to be the leader. Right now that starts with a party of one -- you following the Holy Spirit's leading. Christian fellowship is also critically important for nuturing you in the truth. Be strong, and of good courage! We will all be praying for you. We are here to help in any way that we can. Your brother in Christ, Gilbert Jorgensen (Message edited by jorgfe on August 11, 2007) | ||
| Agapetos Registered user Username: Agapetos Post Number: 961 Registered: 10-2002  |
Reb, the gospel is the ONLY preparation for the end times. Any other "preparation" is UN-PREPARING people for the end! Adventism, by distracting people from Jesus, is teaching them to trust in a DAY instead of in a MAN--Jesus Christ. It is actively UN-PREPARING people for the end. Don't give up. Jesus said we would be persecuted for His sake. It is painful but do not give up not only for your sake, but for your family's sake. They need to be prepared in the only true preparation---Jesus Christ's righteousness. If your wife is looking to SDA and Sabbath to be her salvation in the end, she is building on sand instead of resting on the Rock, and she will be swept away. If you don't witness for Jesus, if you don't rest on the Rock, they will continue to rest on sand and will not be able to withstand the waters hitting the house. You're not alone, brother. | ||
| Grace_alone Registered user Username: Grace_alone Post Number: 741 Registered: 6-2006 |
Reb, your wife really needs you to be strong. I know it sounds crazy, but believe me, as a woman I know. There have been times when I was angry and felt like everything in my life was out of control. I have challenged my husband and the times he got mad and put his foot down were the times I respected him most. Your wife doesn't need you to back down. She needs you to witness and share the gospel with her. Everyone here is right, don't give up! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. I will pray that the Lord will guide your steps through this, speak through you, and use you to reach your family. Hang in there! We're all here for you dear friend.  Leigh Anne (Message edited by grace_alone on August 11, 2007) | ||
| Cloudy Registered user Username: Cloudy Post Number: 31 Registered: 7-2007 |
Well Reb, every rebellion is over sometime. When the rebellion is over, the rebel either becomes a victor or a conceder. In your case the battle is not only over your freedom and soul, but your teenage son's. Your wife has been fairly tolerant over your attending another church as long as your son continued to be raised as an SDA, but became upset when she discovered he was not attending church. Then she ordered you to take him to the SDA church whether you attended or not, but instead you took him to the SDB church with you. So she has ordered you to attend SDA church because it is the only way to ensure her son will attend an SDA church. Your wife is not concerned about your convictions, she is asserting control in a cultic manner. Is whatever she is holding over you really more important than your happiness and your son's? Will you be able to share the gospel with him and be a role model of Christian manhood under the present circumstances? Will be praying for you. | ||
| Wolfgang Registered user Username: Wolfgang Post Number: 178 Registered: 10-2005 |
Reb I wonder why your wife came home so angry,did she come into contact with someone during the day to get her to that point?Is she hormonal? I know sometimes a trip to walmart will set me up to come home and act like a lunatic to my husband. But really maybe you should just "be still and know that He is God" Dawn | ||
| River Registered user Username: River Post Number: 1272 Registered: 9-2006  |
Reb, I prayed for you at church this morning. River | ||
| Honestwitness Registered user Username: Honestwitness Post Number: 295 Registered: 7-2005  |
Reb, it is working extremely well for me to attend my conservative Presbyterian church on Sundays and the SDA church with my husband on Saturdays. The SDA folks are aware that I am doing this and I have not received any cold shoulders from any of them. On the contrary, they are treating me with great love and acceptance. Some of them are even willing to listen to my views, even whey they don't fully agree with Adventism. The folks at my Sunday church are also aware of my attendance at the SDA church with my husband, and there is no opposition there, either. I have discussed this with my Sunday pastor and he gave me his blessing, after I assured him that I am strong enough in the Word that I'm not going to be harming my spiritual life by doing this. I consider my attendance at the SDA church as an assignment from the Holy Spirit to share the Gospel and speak the truth in love, whenver He opens the door for me to do so. I do not consider it a place of great doctrinal learning or Bible study. For that, I continue to be faithful in my attendance on Sunday mornings, Wednesday evenings, and monthly small group Bible studies with my fellow Presbyterians. I also listen to Christian radio and to online broadcasts by various Evangelical Protestant preachers. For fellowship with those who truly understand my spiritual journey, I come here to this forum. What a BLESSING this forum is! You are my precious friends and I need you all. Yesterday, at the SDA church, I did another 'prayer walk' around the church building seven times after the service was over and while everyone was inside chatting. This is my way of doing spiritual warfare and humbling myself before God to make myself available for Him to use as He deems appropriate. This little church has so few people left in it and many of them are quite elderly and in poor health. The Lord reminded me of the verse that says, "A bruised reed He will not break." Some of these precious SDA people are too weak to have their theology challenged. They are not strong enough to go through the deep emotional turmoil that many of us have gone through when we realized the extent of the deception that has been perpetrated by the SDA institution over these many years. I wait and trust the Lord that He will give me the words to speak to these ladies and gentlemen that He wants me to speak in His timing. If He doesn't move me to speak, I will continue to show them a Chistlike demeanor and holy affection. Honestwitness | ||
| Jackob Registered user Username: Jackob Post Number: 476 Registered: 7-2005 |
Reb, THE GAME IS NOT OVER AND YOU ARE NOT LOST !!! You have not ceased to be a believer in the true gospel, and your wife had not asked you to recant your beliefs, to declare “I repent of believing in justification by faith alone in Christ alone” You are still a believer and you have not abandoned Christ, you have not denied Him, like Peter “I don’t know Him”. Even if you are going to worship in an Adventist church, you can be a testimony to truth in that place, and you can be near enough to your wife to educate her regarding the gospel, the beautiful truth of grace alone, imputed righteousness of Christ, substitutionary atonement. If your wife is saying that you “need to hear about what is going to happen in the "end times" and be toughened up for it which only the SDA church can do” you can respect her concerns without stultifying your conscience, since just hearing something when being present with your wife at the SDA church for pleasing her is not against your conscience. If you don’t buy a legalistic gospel, you are faithful to the Lord, and your conscience is still intact. Until this point, you lost nothing as far as your conscience is involved. The fact that you will not be happy to hear a good sermon is another thing, but it does not involve your conscience, only your preference. You are still faithful to God, even if for preserving your marriage and winning your wife, you are going to the SDA church against your preferences and your tastes. You are still God’s child, born in the family of God, and the peace that God gives you nobody can take it from you. Keeping the Sabbath with your wife does not make you a legalist, since you already learn in the SDB church how to keep the Sabbath without being a legalist. You are free from being under the law, under it’s condemnation, you are free from the condemnation of the law, and you have the chance to teach your wife how to be a sabbatarian without being a legalist. You are not loosing your integrity if you will worship with your wife in the SDA church, just because, keeping externally the Sabbath, the others will assume that you are having the same legalistic view about the Sabbath as them. You are sacrificing your preference in order to win your wife to the gospel, but you are not compromising your faith. Look at what the apostle Paul said about himself
As you can see, Paul “became as one under the law” and easily we can accuse Paul of compromising the gospel when he was ready to shave his head, to keep the Passover with the Jews, to do rituals in the temple, rituals that he believed to be fulfilled in Christ (Acts 23:17-26). He was willing to be a servant to all, not a master, in order to win them to the gospel, even if others would believe that Paul’s actions will imply an approbation of their legalistic practices. Even if adventists or your wife would believe that you are approving their practices, you will not be guilty of giving a false testimony just by going and worshipping with them at church. Tell her that you are free to worship on any day, like Romans 14 says, and you are willing to worship with her, in this is her wish, to show her that you are indeed free to do this. The idea that you must renounce Sabbath keeping in order to be free in conscience and not a legalist it’s against the freedom presented in Romans 14. Worship days are not an issue, period. Reb, the game is not over, and you have not lost Christ. You can win your wife to Christ, without sacrificing principles, just preferences. Proksch Jacob Gabriel | ||
| Jorgfe Registered user Username: Jorgfe Post Number: 567 Registered: 11-2005 |
Honestwitness, what a beautiful testimony. Your "witness" is an encouragement to us all, and I am sure that your husband respects you for it. Your story thrills my heart. God has a plan for each of us, when we humble ourselves and let Him use us as he sees fit. Maintaining weekly fellowship with Christian group is absolutely vital, isn't it? As long as that weekly "lifeline" with fellow-believers is in place, the rest of the "picture" is like a unique painting for each of us. Everyone here is such a blessing and encouragement! God is so good. Gilbert Jorgensen | ||
| Jeremy Registered user Username: Jeremy Post Number: 2024 Registered: 10-2004 |
Jackob, Paul did not worship in the Synagogue without preaching the Gospel to the Synagogue. Additionally, Paul did not worship in the temples of false religions. Jeremy | ||
| Jamundson Registered user Username: Jamundson Post Number: 37 Registered: 7-2007 |
Proksch Jacob Gabriel, HALLELUJAH AND AMEN BROTHER.. Well said -------------------------------------------------- River, Your comment that your wife wants you to hear about the end times intrigues me. I have lived, thought,planed and acquired for the "end times" the past 25 years. I have a farm with an orchard , garden, cows, chickens and a windmill. The storage room is stocked to the ceiling with food. All of this comes from the fear that Adventist instilled in us for the end times. After years of backbreaking upkeep I am left with weeds to my knees, animals that need constant attention, stacks of food storage that is either rotting or devoured by rats. I have to work a different profession to support this "wonderful lifestyle". I have come to hate it. I am ready to move to the city and live day to day. I really don't want to try to anticipate the future, for the real future is Christ...nothing more. End times teaching is a diversion from the focus on the New Covenant of Christ our Savior I want to know the real meaning of" lay up your treasures in Heaven" My regret is all the effort and expense I went to for the satisfaction of being prepared for the "End Times" . It is folly.....foolishness.....fear. I no longer am held by this fear that has stayed with me long past my departure from the Adventist church. River, The loud and clear message of 'Jackob' was a truly a trumpet of hope and encouragement. Jay | ||
| Jeremy Registered user Username: Jeremy Post Number: 2025 Registered: 10-2004 |
Reb, please keep in mind, not only what is best for you and your wife, but also what is best for your son.
Jeremy | ||
| Honestwitness Registered user Username: Honestwitness Post Number: 296 Registered: 7-2005 |
Jeremy, you do bring up an important point. We should definitely be concerned about our children. With that said, how many of us here have been children of mixed-faith marriages? Personally, I was not. Both my parents always attended the same church all my life, and still do. However, some who have posted here have shared that one of their parents was SDA and the other was not. I imagine it must be quite a challenge for both the children and the parents to live out this kind of situation. But the Bible gives us instructions on how to live for Christ in all situations, including this one. Yes, it would be preferable for children to see both their parents attending the same church, praying together, and studying the Bible together. But we parents can represent Christ to our children, even if we disagree with our spouse's religious belief system. Children need to see how a true Christian treats those with whom he or she disagrees about spiritual matters, and how a true Christian responds to persecution, even if it comes from within one's own family. God is able to guide us through this challenging family situation and bring good from it. HE IS ABLE! Honestwitness |
