| Author | Message | ||
| Laurie Registered user Username: Laurie Post Number: 4 Registered: 6-2007 |
Please don't laugh at this question (or just think I am weird). I'm wondering if any of you have experienced this. If you spent any time at an academy I'd like to know. I spent one year at the academy - the 10th grade. They closed the school for lack of money and I finished high school at a public school. For the last 27 years, I frequenty dream about the academy. The dreams are very vivid, everything looks just like it did when I was there, but I am in varying stages of life in the dream. Sometimes I'm 16, sometimes married and have my daughter, sometimes dating my husband. It is so bizzare! This morning I woke up from yet another academy dream. This time I was about 20 and dating my husband. He was actually the one dropping me off there. I was crying and crying and begging him not to leave me there. I was sitting on a bed with no sheets on it. He kept telling me "this is what you told your parents you wanted to do". Finally, he drove me home and I just left all my stuff in the dorm room. I am sick of having these dreams. Why do you think I have them? The obvious answer would be that I have unconscious conflict over leaving the SDA church and knowing my parents think I am "lost". But I have had these dreams since I was 16 and I only left the church a little over a year ago. The other obvious answer would be that sending a 16 year old away from home to live in a dorm was traumatic! I know this sounds like I am really weird, but was just wondering if anyone else had any left over experiences from the academy life. Thanks. | ||
| Sara Registered user Username: Sara Post Number: 9 Registered: 5-2007 |
Oh My, YES!! I was gonna say, "Oh my God, Yes," but Leigh Anne posted something about that expression on another thread, and it really convicted me! But yes, I have had those dreams. I lived in dorms in academy and college. I hate the dream where I am married, and I'm calling my husband begging him to come get me out of there, and I'm saying, "NO THIS IS STUPID, WE ARE MARRIED, they cant make us live apart!. Yes, those dreams started shortly after I left dorm life, and continued for years and years. I had them while I was still adventist with no idea I would ever leave. And for the most part, as much as I complained. I enjoyed dorm life. It was preferable to my home life, and I had great friends. Not sure how to anaylze all that!. I just a bit surprised to hear someone else has had those dreams. They are usually traumatic, I know that. And I am either wanting to be home, or someone is wanting me to come home. Its always a pull. Sara | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 3773 Registered: 3-2004  |
I never went to boarding schools. But I used to have nightmares that really scared me and kept me awake the rest of the night. I forget where I read this advice, but it has helped me tremendously and that is when I do have a nightmare/bad dream, I tell myself that it is only a dream and not true. This was before I left the SDA church. I have not had nightmares in a long time, but if I did, I would say, "this is only dream and God you know it is only a dream. It is not true. God take if from me." Try it and let us know what happens. God is always awesome and will help you. Diana | ||
| Philharris Registered user Username: Philharris Post Number: 34 Registered: 5-2007  |
Laurie Like Diana, I to never went to boarding school. However, from about the age of eight until well into my early twenties, I to had nightmares. Until now, I have never connected them to having been an SDA member. You sharing your experiences is giving me something new to consider because I have always wondered what caused some of them. Thanks for sharing. Phil | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 6064 Registered: 12-2003  |
Ohmygoodness, Richard also has these dreams! He has them both about academy and sometimes about college at PUC. And like you, Laurie and Sara, they feature him in various life stages and they often have conflict or unresolved "issues" in them. It often seems as if unresolved "issues" in his life sometimes trigger these dreams, although it's not always clear what's really going on. He also says these dreams are very vivid, and often disturbing. I didn't go to boarding academy, but having taught at one and having known many students quite well, I wonder if these kinds of dreams are related to having traumatic or "uprooting" experiences during one's teens, when EVERYTHING about life changes. I'm totally guessing here, but I've seen how disoriented kids can be during their teens, and teens living in a dorm managed by people operating from a deceptive world view who are dealing with their own submerged or unacknowledged issues is just NOT a healthy envrionment for kids who are trying to move into adulthood with all the new experiences that stage of life brings. What a fascinating question, Laurie—and I'm just astonished to read that others besides Richard have these dreams. Spiritual abuse is such a serious, destructive, and often subtle thing. Teens stuck in an Adventist dorm have no recourse or place to go to be oriented to true reality. So interesting! Colleen | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 3784 Registered: 3-2004 |
I never, until now, connected those nightmares with adventism and adventist beliefs. Ohh, that brings something back to me that I have never talked about. I used to dream that Satan was trying to talk to me or communicate to me in some way. That scared me so much. When I read about saying that it is only a dream, I tried it and it worked. The nightmares went away and never came back. For that I am so thankful. It was not until I was in my 20s/30s that I learned how to stop those dreams. Thank you God. You really do not waste any thing that happens to us. Now I can share this with others and their nightmares can be stopped. Thank you so much. Tears are in my eyes as I write this. God is so Good and so awesome. Diana | ||
| Philharris Registered user Username: Philharris Post Number: 36 Registered: 5-2007 |
Colleen, Your reference to Richard going to college at PUC is bit of a scary connection for me. Simply stated, that is where I was living (Angwin that is) when my own nightmares were the strongest. They receeded when we moved to Vallejo and then on to Vacaville. Slowly, the nightmares disappeared and were gone by the time I turned my life back over to the Lord---I believe. In any case I have not even thought about this for many years. Also, I was in a foster home shortly before this, with a very abusive SDA family because both my parents were in a hospital fighting serious illnesses. Grandmother, who was a behind-the-scene power in the Pacific Union Conference, found about what was going on and raises some "Holy Hell". Taken all together, it was a very tramatic time for all concerned. Phil | ||
| Laurie Registered user Username: Laurie Post Number: 6 Registered: 6-2007 |
Wow... this is very interesting. I thought I was the only one. I just wish they would go away. It started off my day in a bad way to wake up from that dream. I actually had a "good" experience as far as the academy is concerned. The school was only about 45 minutes away from home. My parents or my roommate's parents picked us up every weekend. I don't recall ever spending a single weekend there. But I did see many kids who only went home on Christmas break. I always felt so sad for them. 15 or 16 years old and only seeing their family once a year. It just makes me feel so uneasy when I have these dreams. And it's so weird to be in the different stages of my life and still see myself in the 10th grade. Creepy. It does make me feel better to hear others experience the same thing. Thanks for all the responses. Laurie | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 3785 Registered: 3-2004 |
Laurie, When you have one of those dreams just say, God, this is only a dream and is not true. Keep saying that and God will stop those dreams. He did that for me and I did not make God part of the request to stop the dreams. And that was before I left the SDA church. Diana | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 6069 Registered: 12-2003 |
Laurie, ask Jesus to heal your heart and memories and to place His Spirit in the place(s) that are triggering these dreams. Ask Him to guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus and to redeem whatever needs to be redeemed from that year at academy. I find it amazing that there is this odd consistency among even those few who are on this thread re: recurring dreams centered on SDA boarding school campuses. But why am I surprised? God is faithful, and He will heal and redeem whatever lingering trauma, even forgotten trauma, may underlie these things. Colleen | ||
| River Registered user Username: River Post Number: 872 Registered: 9-2006  |
Laurie, Several years ago I had a problem with letting things slip out of my mouth that were not good, you know, such as curse words or words that were "unseemly". Somewhere I read a verse in the Bible or some minister said to pray this prayer "Father place a guard over my mouth" and ever since then there has been a prompting before I said something that I should not say, he has "placed a watch over my mouth", that has been a tremendous help. If you honestly pray for him to "place a watch over your/my mind" I don't know why that would not be the same reasonable request. Psalms 127:2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. Proverbs 3:24 When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet. Couple verses for you. Oh, here is the verse about the watch. Psalms 141:3 Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. I don't see why it would be unreasonable if you ask that he set a watch over you mind if ask in faith. Worked for me. River | ||
| Laurie Registered user Username: Laurie Post Number: 7 Registered: 6-2007 |
Another interesting aspect of these dreams is that I never dream of any other school. I was in the same SDA school from 1st grade to 9th. No dreams. 2 years of public high school. Not a single dream. Public college - no dreams. Only that one single year - over and over for over 25 years. Something else that was shocking to me when I found out. When I read Clay Peck's story here I could not believe it. I grew up in Iowa and I knew who he was. I did not personally know him but his name was well known. He was going to be the next big thing. When he talked about his wife Selene in his story I was speechless. Selene was the floor monitor the year I was at the academy. Selene - if you ever read this - it's Laurie from OPA in Iowa. Clay said in his story that Selene laid awake at night in the dorm in fear and depression. To me - she represented the perfect little adventist. She was smart, kind, sweet, pretty, and totally dedicated the SDA. To now know that she felt these things while I was looking at her thinking she was perfect it sad. When I heard they were getting married I remember thinking "there you go, the 2 most perfect adventists in the world have found each other". Now, look at what has changed. What would our lives have been like if 27 years ago we had shared with each other what we were really experiencing instead of going on day after day pretending it was ok. How many people may have been helped. Almost every adventist I know does this - silently goes on with sadness in their heart. That's why this forum is important. It lets others know they are not alone. Laurie | ||
| Jonvil Registered user Username: Jonvil Post Number: 63 Registered: 4-2007 |
Laurie wrote: ‘What would our lives have been like if 27 years ago we had shared with each other what we were really experiencing instead of going on day after day pretending it was ok. How many people may have been helped. Almost every adventist I know does this - silently goes on with sadness in their heart.’ What an example of the isolation members experience due to the perfectionist atmosphere created by a erroneous theology. WE are the remnant; WE are God’s only true church, WE cannot be wrong. To express any fears, doubts or questions would be met by implying that THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU!!! | ||
| Esther Registered user Username: Esther Post Number: 384 Registered: 5-2004 |
I'm chiming in late here but I have those same dreams too. Although my academy experience was really good. Since I graduated until now I will have those dreams about the dorm, etc all placed in various life stages. Very weird, and even more so now that I know others have them too. I also, don't dream about my college experience, or any other earlier school situation in my life. Only the academy. | ||
| River Registered user Username: River Post Number: 875 Registered: 9-2006 |
I think it is very significant that many of you have dreams upon the same lines, although some have good experiences and some not so good. While it is common for war veterans I have never heard of such things other than some who have suffered trauma in some manner. Maybe you could put your finger on it if you could name the most common things about an Adventist academy that might bear listing. It is just too coincidental for that many people to have these dreams from diffrent parts of the country. About a year ago I knew an Adventist father who had his so and daughter play for us, they played beautiful music yet their demeanor was robotic and they didn't look happy, they were attending an academy in Canada. Now you all just can't quite on me here, you have got me too wondering what commonality you each hold, puleeeeze don't leave me hanging out! River | ||
| Timmy Registered user Username: Timmy Post Number: 185 Registered: 8-2006  |
Yikes! This is another one of those 'I thought I was the only one' experiences. I dreamed I was back in academy for at least 10 years after I left. I would dream that I was my current age and all my classmates were the age they were in academy. My thoughts in my dreams were the same as they were when I was in academy, that is, "I got to get out of here, but I don't know how..." I guess we're all weird Laurie. | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 3796 Registered: 3-2004 |
River, Comparing us to the war veterans and what they have gone through is something I have never thought of. It would be interesting to find the commonalities each of us experienced. I have to think on that one. Diana | ||
| Sabra Registered user Username: Sabra Post Number: 453 Registered: 10-2001  |
I think dreams often have meaning and if all of you are having this same dream, I would pray that God reveal the meaning. What are the chances that so many people on one thread would have the same dream? I have never dreamed of dorm life but I have a strong tendency to supress so much that it's no wonder. Obviously, the experience was so overwhelming. I felt like I had no direction outside of myself. Sure, there were rules but no real adult interaction and we sort of took care of ourselves. It seems like being stuck there in so many different stages of life is almost like you still feel the oppresion of the SDA "spirit" holding on to you throughout life. Praise God, we are free indeed from that junk. I pray that all of you be realeased from that dream in the Name of Jesus. | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 3799 Registered: 3-2004 |
Sabra, my dreams were not about academy, that I remember. It was about Satan trying to communicate with me. That was scary and I am so thankful that it has stopped and has been stopped for a long time. Diana | ||
| Sara Registered user Username: Sara Post Number: 10 Registered: 5-2007 |
Sabra, You said, "It seems like being stuck there in so many different stages of life is almost like you still feel the oppresion of the SDA "spirit" holding on to you throughout life. Hmmm, now that you mention it, I havent had those dreams in over a year, since I left the Adventist church and God filled me with His Spirit, after I asked Him to remove any SDA "spirit". Course, I may dream those dreams tonight, after all the talk, but it is interesting. Ill claim your prayer in the name of Jesus. I have no idea re the connection. I wonder if those who have been incarcerated have the same type dreams?! Sabra, like you said, there was very little adult interaction, we took care of ourselves. Ate without adults, woke, dressed, studied, played, talked, even prayed, and tucked ourselves in at night, without adult interaction. We were allowed to call home once a week I think. Maybe once a month we ate in a faculty home. We were 13, 14 years old, and had almost no adult interaction. Girls dean would do a 10 minute chapel talk once a day usually. Teachers would teach. But back and forth talk??? No, not that I remember. Not even, "how was your day?, so that we could mumble, "fine". No one asked! No adult anyway. WOw, I never thought of that! |
