| Author | Message | ||
| Jim02 Registered user Username: Jim02 Post Number: 29 Registered: 5-2007 |
One of the contentions I have for years dealt with was the question of jewelry. My wife likes to wear a discreet necklace, or earrings. It has often been the source of many an argument and has no doubt damaged our relationship more than once. As I am working to repair and make right soem of the damage done. I have often desired to buy her this or that. But always felt I was duty bound to place God first at the expense of my marraiage. (I still believe God comes first) But the thing is , I am beginning to see that God really never gave us this SDA extreme of NO jewelry. I don't think it is a salvation issue. To my thinking Jewelry is like most other things . A matter of taste and motives. Balance etc. In my own experience. Through the years; My wife would buy her own jewelry. Fact is , it did compliment her appearance and I did find it attractive. She knew I had a SDA problem with it. But it created a sore spot between us for 29 years. So, I want the freedom to be able to show my own Love in action , and buy her these kind of things. Not extravengant , not gaudy. But simply sweet gifts that compliment her beauty and shwo my Love for her as a husband. I have always considered my wife a gift from God. It seems so natural to be able to express myself in this example. What do you all think about this one. Seems trivial. But this is yet another example of how SDA has gotten into everything that would otherwise never have been an issue, yet has done so much damage, FOR NOTHING !!! | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 3734 Registered: 3-2004  |
Jim, Jewelry is not anything about salvation. Where do you thing all the jewels came from when God asked Moses for the people to donate. Also, read about how God's bride is dressed. The women in the Bible wore jewelry. When I discovered jewelry is not a salvation issue, I got my ears pierced. I had been wearing rings, bracelets, necklaces, but would not get my ears pierced. After I left the SDA church for good, after learning jewelry is not a salvation issue, I started buying earrings to go with the the jewelry I already had. When I do not overdo it and dress tastefully, it looks nice. I can get gaudy at times, but that is just for fun reasons. SO HAVE FUN AND BuY YOUR WIFE SOMETHING NICE, TASTEFUL AND PRETTY. She will like that. Diana | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 3735 Registered: 3-2004 |
(Message edited by Flyinglady on June 04, 2007) | ||
| Philharris Registered user Username: Philharris Post Number: 19 Registered: 5-2007  |
Jim, Keeping the concern you have for upholding and showing your love for your wife, consider the following passage: Matt. 22:36-40 Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. While I am not advocating being under the law, we can certainly learn from Jesus' response to the question given to him. Notice that Jesus does not rank these two "laws" as frist place and second place. They go together. What I see is that "love thy neighbour" helps to fulfill "love the Lord thy God". One of the ways to show your love for God is to display Godly love for your wife. P.S. I have been married 40 years (and away from Adventism for 50 years) and I still get "uncomfortable" when I see what I perceive as to much jewelry or makeup on a woman. I now see it as a question of temperance and what does it do to glorify our Savior. Phil Just as I posted this my wife came requesting something, and I need to show my love for her. (Message edited by philharris on June 04, 2007) | ||
| Grace_alone Registered user Username: Grace_alone Post Number: 570 Registered: 6-2006  |
Isn't it wonderful that our salvation depends on Jesus, and not on what we wear? Jim, I think that your wife will be so touched by any gift that you give her. Also, why don't you tell her what you wrote to us? The gift of your heart will really send her to the moon! At least, that's been my experience with my Hunny. You're right, God never gave us (Christians) the extreme of wearing NO jewelry.  Leigh Anne | ||
| Doug222 Registered user Username: Doug222 Post Number: 565 Registered: 3-2001 |
Jim, I can so relate to your question. In my previous marriage, I would not wear a wedding ring for many years because I believed that it constituted “outward adorning.” After all, hadn’t EGW counseled that it should be avoided except in countries where it would be culturally disrespectful not to wear one? Then, in the early 90’s, the GC came out with a policy that said it was okay to wear a plain wedding ban. Rings popped up everywhere. For about two years, I wore one, but all the while I had this gnawing in my stomach. Something about wearing a wedding band, just because the General Conference said it was okay struck me as being a bit “catholic.” It was kind of like all the people who, after I told them I couldn’t do something on the Sabbath, asked me if I could go to my priest and get a “dispensation.” So anyway, I stopped wearing it again. It didn’t hurt that I was also in the process of going through a separation and divorce. During that same time period, my daughter wanted to get her ears pierced so badly. Of course I resisted adamantly. Now, in hindsight, I am ashamed of my legalistic stand. Let’s stop a moment and think about this. Putting aside the fact that the scriptural support for the Adventist position on not wearing jewelry is almost non-existent, what possible relevance does wearing a piece of jewelry have to my salvation, my spiritual condition, or the spiritual condition of someone else. Why is it that I can drive a luxury automobile, live in a mansion, and wear an expensive Armani suit, but I cannot wear a piece of metal around my finger or on my ear. Why is it that I can go to any SDA Church on any given Sabbath and find women wearing expensive broaches, elaborate hats, and Rolex watches, but jewelry is (or at least it used to be) frowned on. The jewelry issue hits close to home for me because my sister was active in a SDA congregation back in the early 90’s. She was active with the youth, until the leadership told her that she could not be in a leadership position unless she stopped wearing jewelry and make-up. She hasn’t set foot in ANY church ever since. This is akin to the first time that I visited the church I now attend. There were people wearing (gasp) jeans and (double gasp) shorts. I admit it made me uncomfortable. I now realize that all this focus on external appearance is no different than the Pharisees, who Jesus accused of cleaning the outside of the cup and platter, but inside were filthy, full of greed, and self-indulgence. I realized that our focus on the externals really paralleled our spiritual experience, wherein we took great pains to appear a certain way on the outside, with little attention paid to the matters heart. As I told you in a previous post, as you begin to read and understand the “true Gospel,” you will begin to put some of these nonessentials in their proper perspective. It’s obvious that God is beginning to remove the veil from your eyes. I pray God’s blessings on you as you begin to see the world in a whole new light. Doug | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 5988 Registered: 12-2003  |
Jim, I also understand this dilemma. I admit that the dissonance between being able to wear diamond-studded brooches and watches and $60 silk scarves but NOT earrings, rings, or necklaces disturbed me for years. At the same time, I thought that to wear jewlery would symbolize a rebellious attitude. One of the most memorable gifts I ever received from Richard was my first real gold chain. He gave it to me a couple of years after our wedding, and I just broke into tears. By that time (we were still Adventists) I had come to the conclusion that jewelry was not in any way related to being righteous, and I was OK with wearing it discreetly. Richard, I knew, was more conservative, and although he was wearing a wedding ring, I knew that he had struggled with the idea of my wearing "jewelry". When he gave me that chain, it was such an amazing moment for me. I knew several things all at once: he had thought it through and realized that a gold chain can't have any instrinsic spiritual value or devalue; he loved me, and he had actually gone out and spent time looking for and purchasing something he knew I would like. It was a very nice herringbone 14 carat gold chain, too...it wasn't just a thin gold-plated chain. Two other jewelry gifts from him also stand out (he's actually given me jewelry quite often over the past 16 or so years). One was a string of pearls I received on Mother's Day about twelve years ago or so. He had actually taken the boys with him and had shopped for them, letting them get the experience of learning with him (yes, learning--hey, he was Adventist, after all!) how to buy pearls. The other was our 11th anniversary when he gave me a diamond weddings ring set. Oh, my—that was such a memorable gift! I can tell you that gifts of jewelry from one's husband are deeply meaningful...I can't exactly explain why, but it has to do with his affirmation of me as a woman. It's a wonderful thing. Your wife, Jim, will be overwhelmed. She will know you're diffferent! Colleen | ||
| River Registered user Username: River Post Number: 824 Registered: 9-2006  |
Jim, if you don't go out and buy that wife of yours something nice like a neat set of Gold earrings or something (maybe pilfer around in her jewelry box and see what you would think she might like) and Hey, a rose or 6 or 12 wouldn't hurt, then probably what you are is a cad. Just kidding, don't git your dander up but hey a brownie point or two never hurts. Me I'm a clutz when it come to buying gifts but I do every once in a while. My own opinion but I think God respects those acts of Love and compassion and letting her know that she is still the one in your whole life. I have been married 45 years and I still let her know those things. IMHO River | ||
| River Registered user Username: River Post Number: 825 Registered: 9-2006 |
Doug, if I took my wedding band off I'd be sleeping in tha barn. | ||
| Ardyj Registered user Username: Ardyj Post Number: 34 Registered: 8-2006  |
Jewely; a very interesting subject. As a rebellious sda teenager, I wore rings 6 days a week; you can guess which day they were not worn. On our wedding day, no rings were exchanged; a part of the ceremony I did miss. Many years later, my husband presented me with a gold band one Mother's day; this while we were still adventists. That was and is very special to me. Again, years later, after transitioning out of adventism, and perhaps as a part of it; we listened to Mark Martin on one of his CD's talking about his wedding band as a sign of the covenant between he and his wife. I asked my husband if he would like to have a ring as a sign of our covenant marriage and was overjoyed when he was in total agreement. He said he would like to give me a diamond since he had never done that; and I chose a Black Hills gold "right hand" ring with four small diamonds; another sign of our bond. He has taken me several times to our favorite jewelry store and given me ear rings and usually a necklace to match. One set of ear rings in particular is really special. They are Black Hills gold rainbow trout! Perhaps you have noticed (or not) my picture and discovered one of my passions is fly fishing. Getting ears pierced was an interesting experience, but not bad. The young woman who did this at our local Wal Mart graciously said I was not the oldest woman who has had this done. I really think she was trying to be nice :-) Our God is so great. What a joy to know we have salvation because He loves us so much. God Bless you all Ardyj | ||
| Chris Registered user Username: Chris Post Number: 1311 Registered: 7-2003  |
Jim, I think you should feel free to honor and love the wife God gave you in the same way that God metaphorically describes His love for His "wife" Israel.
If the giving of jewelry is the metaphor that our Holy God uses for His love for Israel, then we surely should be able to emulate God in giving beautiful things to our wives. Chris | ||
| River Registered user Username: River Post Number: 829 Registered: 9-2006 |
Hey Chris, that was a great passage of scripture. It reminds me of what God does for us. He takes our filthy rags and cloths us with his very best. He has given us the finest gifts that only a bride can appreciate. He cloths us and anoints us with oil and bestows upon us the gifts of the Holy Spirit. River | ||
| Jim02 Registered user Username: Jim02 Post Number: 30 Registered: 5-2007 |
I think this will be one of those beginning places to start. Thank You all. and I agree ! | ||
| Agapetos Registered user Username: Agapetos Post Number: 849 Registered: 10-2002  |
You're right, River!
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| Gcfrankie Registered user Username: Gcfrankie Post Number: 6 Registered: 1-2007 |
What I see in 1Tim.2:9, is Paul warning us to not get overly gaudy in what you wear be it our clothing or jewelery. No where could I find where we are prohibited from wearing jewelery. I understand in the SDA church members may now wear gold wedding bands and also some are even wearing other jewlery (is it in defiance of EGW?)and trying to change the church? That is a question I cannot ask the members of the church I left as they are very much for following EGW right down the line. Jim go for it and buy your lovely wife some jewelery and enjoy her wearing it. I know that when I joined the SDA, for some reason I could not get rid of my jewelery and now I am glad. The church wanted new members to give them the jewlery. I don't know if they still do this. As I look back now it looks like this is (was) to fatten their coffers. Gail | ||
| Doug222 Registered user Username: Doug222 Post Number: 568 Registered: 3-2001 |
Gail, You actually had to give it to them? WOw, I have never heard of that, although I have heard of people being refused baptism unless they removed the jewelry. I haven't quite figured out the connection between being baptized into Christ and wearing jewelry yet, but I know there is one somewhere. Doug | ||
| Jonvil Registered user Username: Jonvil Post Number: 52 Registered: 4-2007 |
1Ti 2:9 Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, (NASB) RIGHT AFTER: 1Ti 2:8 Therefore I want the men in every place to pray, LIFTING UP HOLY HANDS, without wrath and dissension. (NASB) AND JUST BEFORE: 1Ti 2:12 But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. (NASB) If SDAs use 1Tim 2:9 but ignore 1Tim 2:8 & 12, could this be considered ‘proof texting’ and out of context or are the ignored texts equally valid in today’s church? (While writing this I got this weird mental image of an austere frowning legalistic Elder animatedly waving his arms in the air while praying we all become vegans while the women (all looking like Quakers) were sitting submissively in the back. A sort of Frankenstein amalgamation of Historical & Liberal Adventistism.) | ||
| River Registered user Username: River Post Number: 832 Registered: 9-2006 |
Jonvil, now your giving me nightmares, I just got a picture of old men sitting in the front with their teeth out backed by six rows of Ellen Whites in buns. Every one of them has got a big black wart. Now I am afraid to go to sleep tonight and it's all your fault. River | ||
| Jonvil Registered user Username: Jonvil Post Number: 53 Registered: 4-2007 |
six rows of EGWs with warty buns - you are a disturbed individual - must be the pork chops. JonVil | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 3743 Registered: 3-2004 |
LOL!!!! Diana |
