| Author | Message | ||
| Anotherseeker Registered user Username: Anotherseeker Post Number: 15 Registered: 8-2005 |
I have found that since i stopped attending SDA that my prayer life is REALLY barren. It has in fact deterioated. I have LOTS of time on my hands so that is not the reason and my spirit SO desires to spend time in prayer but my flesh is not submitting to my desire. I find it a lot easier to read the word and when i do kneel down and pray i have no struggle on my knees. Dont get me wrong i do talk to Father frequently in my head but i think that he deserves that SET ASIDE TIME on my knees or prostrate before him Is this warfare that i am involved in? Also for many years now i am struggling to get out of my apartment to do even the most simple things like shopping and posting a letter. When i am out of the house i am fine and if i have an appointment i have very little problem. Attending church was EASY never a problem to get out on Saturday but i have noticed that since i left i am not attending the Pentecostal church that i like NEARLY as much as when was going to SDA?? I would have thought that now i have made up in my mind to leave SDA that i would have enjoyed the extra freedom of worshipping there. Last Summer i was to be found in that Sunday church nearly every week for about 2 months and then i did not feel led to go as much anymore after that spell. I considered leaving SDA last year and joining this church but because of the Sabbath there was NO WAY that i was going to leave even though i was left spiritually bereft OFTEN after divine worship. Why do i not have the same zeal as i did just over a year ago for the Sunday church? I have been lately but i am not in regular church attendance. I am scared of joining a church for the wrong reasons and am waiting to be led of God. The thing now for me with this other church is the tongues issue I like the church because i feel Gods spirit in there but at the same time because of my Adventist background i am starting to have doubts about their use of tongues in the service. Now..... i have had the experience of tongues and was SCARED the first time that it happened because i knew that it could be of the devil. It happened here at home while watching a popular pastor on a video that my Adventist friend had run off for me. It was not an Adventist but a VERY WELL KNOWN bishop. As he told the congregation to open their mouths and start praising God i found myself going through the motions while sitting here on the floor. I caught myself and said" why am i sitting here with my hands on my belly doing nothing" So i started to pray and the next thing i knew i was speaking a language i did not know. I prayed and asked God if it was not of him to make it stop and it did'nt. I rang my birth Mother who i know speaks in tongues as every other Christian i know is SDA and i knew that i could not tell them{i did however subsequently mention it to a few,including my pastor} My birth Mum prayed and thanked God and told me to PRAY IT OUT and not to be scared. I did not take her advice for long as my Adventist beliefs were stronger and made more sense and were SAFER. I remember bringing it up at Sabbath lunch one day and i could tell that the people were feeling a bit sorry for me even though they hid that VERY VERY WELL. I..... however have a VERY DISCERNING Spirit, and could see differently. Now i am saying all this to say that when i attend this church i mentioned my tongues comes out and when i am home it does not as much. I deduced that the anointing in the church allows this to happen and that my apartment is not as anointed and also it is just ME in here and not a big room full of believers. Since i left church my friend said that i should stir up my gift of tongues and i began to, but i read an article on it on bible-truths.com which was HEAVILY backed up with scripture which made sense to me and i guess would be more in keeping with SDA'ism and i thought i had better leave it alone. I have read ALL the scripture on it and my issue is that i have NEVER heard tongues interpreted YET in that church. Everyone will pray in tongues as the congregation prays and the pastor at the front may break into tongues in there prayer but.... NEVER has it been interpreted and is this not against the word of God?? I think that perhaps the tongues thing may have gone a little out of control in Evangelical,Charismatic churches. I think that sometimes it does become a bit of a show. For example i have here a video of Juanita Bynum ministering and she breaks into tongues and the audience LAUGH??? I am like....??? By the way does anyone have any insight in to Prophetess Juanita Bynum or Eddie Long or Jacqueline Mccullough because these are people that have ministered to my spirit and i know that some of the TV Christian stuff is a sham and that the enemy is a wiley foe. As a new believer i feel i am particularly vulnerable to deception as i wade through my walk with God. I know we have to try the Spirits to see whether they be of God. Has my SDA background tarnished or scrambled my Spiritual discernment and perception of Charismatic style worship e.t.c. My Spirit is DEFINITELY more Charismatic, i like to physically express myself in worship without looking like a nutter or a SUPER SPIRITUAL pretentious person. I do not want the enemy to take my naive, God-seeking self and turn my passion into a demonic haven in my soul. I could be fed rubbish and thing it is of God. I am sure the enemy works this way. I also see that Pentecostal,charismatic worship can EASILY become a SHOW and a forum for egocentrics that know the word. Humans love entertainment and this is going to be the downfall of many Christians IN THIS DAY. I feel that i am wandering a little now so i will continue this when whoever feels free to respond,help,admonish,teach e.t.c AM I BEING DECEIVED because i have left SDA? Is the enemy robbing me of having a prayer life that consists of speaking in tongues because i have now escaped the strangle hold of SDA PHYSICALLY BUT.... SPIRITUALLY the seeds are still there and of course the argument against tongues can be backed up with scripture? My barren prayer life.... is the enemy trying to make me think i have made a mistake by depriving me of my prayer life? I am someone who has had seasons of getting up at 5am to pray for an hour and then go back to bed. Sometimes the Lord would wake me up in the middle of the night and I KNEW that i had to pray or read the word. How about not being able to get out of my apartment... i am not scared by the way i just dont seem to be able to make the transition from IN to OUT.... EVEN to do things that i would enjoy. It does not help that i do not work but i hope that a door will be opened for me soon career wise. PLEASE PRAY FOR THIS. I AM BURSTING TO FIND AND FULFIL MY GOD GIVEN PURPOSE. Something could start in January for me just 1 day a week but that would CHANGE MY LIFE | ||
| Lynne Registered user Username: Lynne Post Number: 144 Registered: 10-2005 |
Anotherseeker, I've been attending an Assembly of God Church for a while now. They mostly do praising in song in this church during the Sunday services and a sermon. The majority of people who come into the church are not saved and it would likely turn them off if everyone broke out in tongue or the pastor did it. Also, there is too much of the show stuff out there unfortunately and I'm grateful our pastor is more interested in saving souls. He does a great job keeping out distractions from the purpose of the church. And the purpose is to teach and praise Jesus in song and in word. We all know it is a very sad thing when people distort good things that come from God. Tongues are for believers, unbelievers don't understand. It isn't the game that many of the shows and churches have made it. It is something that should only come natural to people. If it is any other thing, it is not real and perhaps that is the feeling you are getting from it, perhaps there is something demonic in the fakes. I am more sensitive to demonic fakes having come from the adventist church. When I was adventist, I went to a church with tongues and never went back, it was repulsive and completely unknown to me. I was in the spirit of Ellen White, following her teachings. I looked at the ellenwhiteestate.org database regarding tongues and Ellen White never spoke in tongues. She spoke of those who did speak in tongues as fanatics like the rest of the other Christians out there. Of course, she was not saved and did not understand or know the Holy Spirit, and as adventists, we were following doctrine based on her visions. The adventist teachings are the devils doctrines. We have been victims of this satanic abuse. I don't think it leaves us overnight. Our hearts are going to sometimes be heavy when we leave such an abusive religious institution. We are going to be mixed up a bit and even the plain things in scripture may not make sense to us. They aren't supposed to. Only the complicated stuff is supposed to make sense, isn't it? The adventists made sense of things that were wrong, they twisted the sacred bible and we need a lot of time to heal. We were not encouraged or nurtured spiritually. We were taught how to have a WRONG relationship with God. So we have to somehow UNTHINK that. I really struggle to pray around other believers either in tongue or in word right now. I do believe in tongues and am comfortable praying that way by myself. It is difficult to find a church that is perfect. They all seem to make issue of one thing or another or not have common sense about this or that. But I think what is most important, is my relationship with God. That is where I need to try and stay connected the most. That is where all of my answered prayers are from. He is Great, He is Mighty and He made us and He Loves us! We are no longer adventists. We are free in Christ alone. He lives in us. You are right about our society being so sold on entertainment. Yes, our society is market based and we are sell outs and have been for a long time in many areas. So we all must be very careful. I'm afraid it is just the American way. I posted this link somewhere else. I haven't read it entirely, but I liked what I have read so far. It is a good biblical study of tongues. I'll post it again even though you have done studies on it. You might find something different in it. It is pretty comprehensive - http://www.layhands.com/PrayingInTheSpirit.htm I will keep you in my prayers. As this is a pretty new journey for me out of the Adventist box, please keep me in your prayers as well. Lynne |
