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Javagirl Registered user Username: Javagirl
Post Number: 86 Registered: 6-2005
| Posted on Sunday, October 30, 2005 - 5:30 pm: | |
Artist: Casting Crowns Album: Lifesong Track: Stained Glass Masquerade Is there anyone that fails? Is there anyone that falls? Am I the only one in church today, feeling so small? Cause when I take a look around Everybody seems so strong I know they'll soon discover That I don't belong So I tuck it all away like everything's ok If I make em all believe it Maybe I'll believe it too So with a painted grin I'll play the part again So everyone will see me The way that I see them Are we happy plastic people under shiny plastic steeples with walls around our weakness and smiles that hide our pain but the invitations open To every heart that's been broken Maybe then we close the curtain On our stained glass masquerade Is there anyone who's been there? Are there any hands raised? Am I the only one who's traded In the altar for a stage? The performance is convincing And we know every line by heart Only when noone is watching can we really fall apart But would it set me free If i dared to let you see The truth behind the person You imagine me to be Or would your eyes be opened Or would you walk away Would the love of Jesus Be enough to make you stay? Chorus 2x if the invitations open To every heart that has been broken Maybe then we close the curtain On our stained glass masquerade Is there anyone that fails? Is there anyone that falls? Am I the only one in church today, feeling so small? Source: Chrristianlyrics.com (Kae, have you heard this one yet??) This song really speaks to me. On the thread of what got you started, I have yet to come up with a clear answer to that quetion. My journey has taken a lot of turns. One thing I do know, is that I had a family problem that was serious at the time, and I knew without a doubt, that it was unsafe to go to my church with the problem. The incestuous atmosphere kept me silent. I could not trust that word would not get out, and impact everyone in my family. As an adventist, my experience has been that people rememember the problem or sin that is confessed, forget the victory, and forever see you as the one who struggles/struggled with thus and such. We have a heirachy of sins! Its okay to sin and confess the "small" sins, you know, gluttony, critical spirit, poor stewardship, pride Ha!, etc. etc. But dont dare admit the "shameful" sins, smoking, drinking, sexual immorality, stealing, pornagraphy, drug use, physical, emotional sexual or spiritual abuse, mental instability,.....YOU know the list... You are forever labeled. This led me to seek support and prayer from an "anonymous" group of Christians in a bible study. This was even threatening! What a loving reception I recieved! What a relief to put it all out there, and recieve prayer rather that pointing fingers and whispers. What a joy to be able to report a miracle, and have people see me, and my family as children of God. I see people constantly in my work who wait to seek help until the problem is completely out of control. I grieve, because I know that if they had sought help earlier, the damage would be minimized! I know this experience is common to a lot of churches of all denominations. I believe the problem is erroneous theology. I am so blown away with the truth of God's forgiveness. I am so amazed at the fact that my sins yesterday, today, and tomorrow, are forgiven, the price has been paid already! I am free from the bondage of shame and secrecy of sin. I am in awe of the power of the Holy Spirit to convict me of sin in my life, WITHOUT shame and condemnation!! This is so new to me! I am convicted of thoughts and behaviors, I see the problem clearly, I know that I am IN CHRIST, fully covered, fully ACCEPTED and LOVED with my faults, and therefore I am able to respond to the correction. In fact I WANT the correction! I dont want anything separating me from relationship with Christ in fullnes. I really long for a place to worship and be real! Give me some acknowledged sinners, in need of Grace, and lets grow together! We all know who Jesus hung out with! I really long for people to speak truth to me. I have found the friends, but not the church home...yet! As I am more secure in Christ, I am more able to be vulnerable with my problems, and I really appreciate those on this forum who have responded with patience and love when I have asked for prayers and support. JavaGirl 4excape@bellsouth.net
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Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady
Post Number: 1958 Registered: 3-2004
| Posted on Sunday, October 30, 2005 - 7:56 pm: | |
Dear Javagirl, My heart goes out to you at this time. I would love to wrap my arms around you and hold you while you cry. I cannot do that right now because we are apart, but know that I pray for you and hold you up to God. Thanks for sharing the words of that song. I can really identify with them. I am so glad you found a safe place to talk about what was going on in your life. God took you there. He knew just what you needed and He still does. Keep on praying about a place to worship. He will let you know where He wants you to go. Keep close to God. He is holding you in His awesome arms right now and will not let you go. Diana |
Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker
Post Number: 2833 Registered: 12-2003
| Posted on Sunday, October 30, 2005 - 8:22 pm: | |
Javagirl, thank you for sharing the song and for telling us about this painful part of your story. Praise God that He led you to that Bible study and revealed Himself to you in a completely new way through those people. I know so well the labeling, scandal-mongering attitude in the church of my past. The absence of that labeling and the fact that Christ-followers are able to see one another as truly forgiven and reborn still amazes me. Our past wounds and sin do not foever constitute our identities when we are in Christ and among others who are in Christ. I am so thankful that God knows what we need and brings us to those places in His time. I am thankful He also led you here and that we have been able to be part of your experience and have been given the privilege of praying for you. With prayers for you and your family, Colleen |
Ric_b Registered user Username: Ric_b
Post Number: 348 Registered: 7-2004
| Posted on Monday, October 31, 2005 - 7:37 am: | |
Javagirl, I love that song. The lyrics hit home so much. But the amazing thing about being a "real" sinner is that you can meet a "real" Savior. As long as all of our sins are "little" ones, we don't need much grace or a very big Savior. Thank God our Redeemer is Real and VERY BIG! |
Taybie Registered user Username: Taybie
Post Number: 95 Registered: 4-2005
| Posted on Monday, October 31, 2005 - 8:38 am: | |
Javagirl, those words rang DEEP within me. I, too know what it was like to silently suffer and paint on the 'happy' face. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Jesus truly is wonderful and altogether lovely! I, too am eternally greatful that the Lord has an endless river of love for me...for ME!!! How Great He is, huh?? I have also found a loving group to meet with and to fellowship with, but have yet to call this church home. I am waiting on the Lord's approval and wherever He says go...then THAT place will be my new church home. Jesus, thank You for loving us and thank You for taking on our sins as Your own. You are worthy and WONDERFUL!!! Thank You for Your mercy and grace! Thank YOU For being The One that loves us best! You ARE THE FAITHFUL ONE!!!!! Thank You for revealing Your lovely self to Javagirl, and us all! Hallelujah unto the MATCHLESS LOVE of MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!! He is SO GOOD!!!!!!!! Shontay |
Javagirl Registered user Username: Javagirl
Post Number: 87 Registered: 6-2005
| Posted on Tuesday, November 01, 2005 - 9:00 am: | |
Diana, thanks for the heartfelt response. Actually, the family problem was about 5 years ago, and God has really healed that situation in a miraculous way. Funny though, God led you and one other person to pray for me in present time on Sunday. One was at church, and he started praying for me in the middle of a song! Said the lord impressed him that I needed it! So Ive been trying to figure out what situation these prayers were for...I finally figured it out. I have struggled with a personal issue for awhile, and decided to confront it after the Holidays! HA ! Well evidently God thinks it is time now, and his power is present and available now, so why wait! I guess Im gonna continue to need prayer for a while on this issue...So thanks in advance. Ric and Colleen, I have met that Real Savior, and thankfully I finally "get" where my true identity rests. The sins are like gnats, some more pesky than others, but they in no way affect my salvation, and in that I can and do rest. I feel like I was stuck on milk forever, and now I have reached adolescent growth spurts! I have outgrown all my old "clothes". Thankfully Christ robe of righteousness is custom made for me, and covers me completely! Shontay, I love you enthusiasm! WHy dont you try to come to Atlanta on the 12th of November for the free Ginny Owens concert..arent you in Alabama?? We are gonna meet and fellowship ahead of time, maybe 10-12 of us or more! email me or Carol for details 4excape@bellsouth.net. hugs all JavaGirl |
Carol_2 Registered user Username: Carol_2
Post Number: 368 Registered: 2-2002
| Posted on Tuesday, November 01, 2005 - 12:02 pm: | |
Don't we have a number from Alabama? I know parts of the state are not far from Atlanta. We'd love to meet you! |
Taybie Registered user Username: Taybie
Post Number: 97 Registered: 4-2005
| Posted on Tuesday, November 01, 2005 - 12:09 pm: | |
Javagirl & Carol_2 THANK YOU for the invite! I will be emailing you this week!
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Carol_2 Registered user Username: Carol_2
Post Number: 369 Registered: 2-2002
| Posted on Wednesday, November 02, 2005 - 5:33 am: | |
I looked and can't find the "Song Lyrics" thread we had at one time. So I'm posting some more lyrics here. This is a song that really speaks to me. When I was going through a divorce, which was EXTREMELY stressful and traumatic for me, although I was hurting so deeply, I never felt closer to God. Oh how He held me close at that time of my life. Held Natalie Grant Two months is too little. They let him go. They had no sudden healing. To think that providence would Take a child from his mother while she prays Is appalling. Who told us we'd be rescued? What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares? We're asking why this happens To us who have died to live? It's unfair. Chorus: This is what it means to be held. How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life And you survive. This is what it is to be loved. And to know that the promise was When everything fell we'd be held. This hand is bitterness. We want to taste it, let the hatred numb our sorrow. The wise hand opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow. This is what it means to be held. How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life And you survive. This is what it is to be loved. And to know that the promise was When everything fell we'd be held. Bridge: If hope is born of suffering. If this is only the beginning. Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior Here's a link to a sort of "devotion" about the song, and being "Held." I like the idea of climbing into my Father's lap to be held. http://www.imakenews.com/ksbj/e_article000366522.cfm?x=b11,0,w Love and prayers, Carol
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Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker
Post Number: 2851 Registered: 12-2003
| Posted on Wednesday, November 02, 2005 - 9:42 am: | |
Carol, that's powerful. Thank you for sharing that song. Colleen |
Dd Registered user Username: Dd
Post Number: 569 Registered: 7-2004
| Posted on Wednesday, November 02, 2005 - 3:59 pm: | |
Carol, That is my MOST FAVORITE song! THanks! |
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