| Author | Message | ||
| Noticeofappeal Registered user Username: Noticeofappeal Post Number: 1 Registered: 6-2005 |
Hi, First post. Earlier this week while researching another cult/religion I stumbled onto this site. What a great find. Others who have eaten haystacks and shamburgers, spent their entire lives (until recently) in the clutches of adventisum, and most importantly, left it all behind. I can say I have respect not even knowing you... it is a tough move to make. My exodus probably mirrors many of yours. Twelve years in adventist grade school and high school, then 4 more at Walla Walla College. I do have to say, however, that West Coast churches seriously de-emphasize the "Ellen" garbage that we all dislike so much. I didn't even really learn much of this "stuff" until Walla Walla. And then I "backslid." Woohoo! So for me now? I'm married to a wonderful former adventist. What good fortune that we backslid at the same rate ;-). My family is all still adventist, with a father and sister working for the conference. Curiously, they now work with a pastor from my childhood... who was transferred to another conference after being arrested for shoplifting. Go figure. But I think I've followed a different path than many of you. My rejection of adventism included much more, to the point where I have serious doubts about religion in general. I guess I'd consider myself agnostic or atheistic at this point, for whatever relevance it has. I'm not sure where life will ultimately lead... but I am sure it will continue to lead me away from adventism and all the wackiness of my youth. Happy to have found the community, CB | ||
| Melissa Registered user Username: Melissa Post Number: 922 Registered: 7-2003  |
Welcome CB. Hope you continue to read here and find "support" for your past. I personally have never been SDA, just affected by it through my son's father. I hear many who leave adventism do question whether God exists, and I hope that as you move further away from adventism, you will recognize the reality of God in your life and find the real joy of knowing Christ. Welcome to the forum. Hope you hang around and enjoy the fellowship here. | ||
| Chris Registered user Username: Chris Post Number: 845 Registered: 7-2003  |
Welcome to FAF CB! We are happy to have you here. I hope that while you are here you will see evidence in our lives and in our discourse that the resurrected Jesus is indeed alive today. This is a great place to talk through the many objections to and evidences for the God of the Bible. I look forward to conversing with you in the future. Chris | ||
| Seekr777 Registered user Username: Seekr777 Post Number: 169 Registered: 1-2003  |
CB welcome to a great group. I've grown to love many of them even if I've only met a few in person. It is a place where you can be who you really are and express your feelings and still be loved if you don't agree with everyone else.  Richard rtruitt@mac.com | ||
| Tisha Registered user Username: Tisha Post Number: 84 Registered: 3-2005 |
Welcome CB! I can so identify with your post above! When I first started questioning the SDA Church, I got so disgusted that I turned from God as well. I decided any god like that was one I didn't need! And if thare was a god like that, I could never measure up anyway, so I just dismissed it! I figured either way I was doomed! Then, for some reason (the Holy Spirit?!) I began to study the Bible again. It was then that I started to see things in a whole new light. Eventually I found a need for Christian fellowship and started looking for a BIBLE-BASED Church. When I started worshipping with other Christians that didn't have the baggage of having been SDA, I found that they had a JOY and PEACE that I wanted! Suddenly I saw the truth about my Salvation! I came to know and trust Jesus/God as never before. I now know I don't need a Religion to save me. I don't have to be a member of any Church. I only need to accept and have faith (and that faith is growing daily!) that Jesus death paid the price for me. I am saved by His Grace, RIGHT NOW - not in the future. I can say "I know that I am saved!" Now I have that JOY and PEACE! Praise God! I pray that the Holy Spirit will tug at your heart as He did mine! Keep studying the Bible to discern the truth. You will KNOW what it says when you can take off the SDA filter! May God be with you and watch over you in this time of questioning. -tisha | ||
| Bob Registered user Username: Bob Post Number: 309 Registered: 7-2000  |
CB, when I quit the SDA church years ago, I was so fed up with denominationalism and "religion" that I didn't go to church anywhere for ten years, and aggressively rebelled against everything I knew about God. But He has a way of making Himself known, if one is willing to be confronted with evidence! He reached out to me in an unmistakeable way, and brought me back to Himself. We hope you will hang out here with us often. And please don't consider your personal life story of your relationship with God "finished." I am quite sure it is not! Bob | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 2125 Registered: 12-2003  |
Hi, CB! Welcome to the forum! We're glad you're here, and we look forward to conversing with you! Nothing in our lives is wasted from God's eternal perspective. And even though you have serious doubts about Him, look how you found this forum--a place where we not only understand your agnosticism but also your backgroundóand we have also found God to be completely different from the god many of us perceived Him to be when we were Adventists. We look forward to getting to know you! Colleen | ||
| Patriar Registered user Username: Patriar Post Number: 27 Registered: 3-2005 |
Hi CB! Welcome to FAF. I'm new here too and love it! I am also a former adventist. I went through all the schooling like you. My husband and I even uprooted ourselves from a place we loved to go to Loma Linda for medical school just so we could have the "Christian" atmosphere. I hate to say that that is laughable now. Anyway, I too went through a period of time when agnosticism reigned in my life (albeit a short time). Like Chris, I pray that you will see the reality that indeed Jesus Christ is alive and well today and is reigning in our hearts. CB, I don't know everything by any stretch, but I know that God loves you so much. He has called YOU His own. Once again, WELCOME! We look forward to hearing more from you. Patria | ||
| Jwd Registered user Username: Jwd Post Number: 32 Registered: 4-2005 |
Hey CB ! A dear friend of mine says she is an agnostic as well. One of the things I first noticed when I discovered my Invitation to Jesus' party barbecue of celebrating Freedom from imprisonment and bondage and darkness, fear and guilt, was that He has this big guy standing at the door and the first thing this guy says is: No name tags, No club badges, No bumper stickers here. Leave all your past perceptions and garbage and identifications over there. If you want, you can pick them up on your way back home. But this party is about accepting and loving everyone MINUS any wrong judgments. God doesn't care whatever we call ourselves. And aren't we all "into" ID tags? I'm just now getting used to that naked feeling. So when ever someone asks me, "Are you a Christian" or "Are you a church goer." I just say, "I'm just one who is loved......PERIOD!" You know, my take on this is that for the most part what we sometimes think is God, is simply FALSE CONCEPTS "ABOUT" GOD. We feel like we're tossing out God, when I wonder if what we actually are throwing out are all these wrong concepts ABOUT God. They brought us no joy, no inner contentment, but plenty of guilt and fear and frustration. You may THINK you tossed God out, but you might be surprised to hear him in the SILENCE, whisper, "Boo! I'm still here, loving you." Hey, it can't hurt to believe in LOVE, can it? (smiles) Hope to get better acquainted. Raised "SAD" now branded apostate, rebel and heretic. Be blessed with PAGL* Jess * Peace, Assurance, Gratitude and Love | ||
| Bobalou Registered user Username: Bobalou Post Number: 21 Registered: 2-2005 |
Hi CB, just wanted to tell you that when I left Adventism, I didn't attend church for 3 years. I did continue to study and after all the initial anger faded I missed fellowshipping. When I finally did attend a church the people surrounded me with true agape love and I now I attend twice a week and am growing in Grace. I didn't have to prove anything to anyone. I was accepted not because of my station in life or my mental capacity. They all felt my hurt and invited me to share my life with them. And believe it or not they are very non judgemental. What a blessed group. The Lord guided me where I should go and provide the people to help me heal. | ||
| Dennis Registered user Username: Dennis Post Number: 411 Registered: 4-2000  |
CB, A hearty FAF welcome! I look forward to your participation in our conversation cafe. Dennis Fischer | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 1614 Registered: 3-2004  |
Welcome, CB. When I quit going to church, it was not all the way, because I had a son to raise and I wanted him to know Jesus, but on the weekends he was with his Dad, I danced and did other things completely against God. At least that is what I thought. But, know what, where you are, is fine with us. Please come back, ask questions, converse and tell us more about yourself. Diana | ||
| Riverfonz Registered user Username: Riverfonz Post Number: 421 Registered: 3-2005 |
Welcome CB, Thanks for joining the discussion. I notice that you say you stumbled onto this site. I believe that there are no accidents in the Kingdom of God, and we hope you feel welcome to discuss your views. Stan | ||
| Dd Registered user Username: Dd Post Number: 485 Registered: 7-2004 |
CB, As you can tell, you hit a nerve of understanding. Boy, oh boy, can I ever relate! As I look back on my own agnostic feelings, I realized that I was raised to believe that the SDA church WAS God. How could I ever question "The Church" because I would then be questioning God? So when I did begin to have the light dawn on my deep secret disgust of being led to believe I could be perfect if I just tried hard enough, I figured my "hatred" for the church was really about God. I know now that this was all part of the journey. A journey on a path of many ups and downs that has led me right into the arms of God. A journey that I know God directed me through. It's okay to feel the way you do. God knows where you've been and He knows where to take you, when to take you there, why you need to go there, where to turn to get there, what you need to do once you are there...He will never ask anything of you that is not right, good, and open to the light. He is the One who bought you from your Adventist background so you could experience a life of peace and contentment today and always. | ||
| Noticeofappeal Registered user Username: Noticeofappeal Post Number: 2 Registered: 6-2005 |
Thank you for the warm welcome. Perhaps the most difficult part of leaving the SDA church is the fact that our immediate and extended family remain SDA. This is especially true, and troublesome, when they remain pastors, teachers, or GC employees. Ugh. You essentially cannot even raise the issue, because it is so much a part of their identity. I suppose this would be different for somebody who recently converted, without significant family ties to this particular religion, but family ties "into" the SDA religion make things complex. I look forward to reading your posts. Clearly there is much to be learned, especially for those of us with family still a part of the SDA religion. So how do people here deal with the family issue? Here is an example. My dad's new wife (who I adore) really wanted to take my daughter (6 months old) to her SDA church and show her off. Perhaps being too harsh, I declined. I simply have too much of a problem with the entire SDA cult mentality to go along with that (not to mention that a 6-month old nursing baby pretty much needs her mom... and thus we'd end up having to go along, too). Any similar experiences? How do you handle the family invitation to praise Ellen? How do you handle the family desire to teach Ellen to your kids? | ||
| Patriar Registered user Username: Patriar Post Number: 32 Registered: 3-2005 |
Noticeofappeal (CB): I can really relate! (no pun intended) We are the only ones from our immediate and extended family who have "seen the light". Many of us live within a 15 mile radius of one another too. Both of my parents worked for the Rocky Mountain Conference for years. They often want to take our 8 and 6 year olds to church. Our kids are at a really, really tough age because they remember going to church on Sabbath and yet don't have a firm ability to grasp the reason we no longer do that. But I can tell you this: They are OK. Even having been exposed to Adventism from the time they were born until last year, they understand the Grace of Jesus. They don't have a clue who Ellen is (THANK GOD) and we are seeing them starting to extend grace to their friends. It is amazing. We still let our kids go to the SDA church for certain occasions, though very rarely, like last week they went for VBS (held on Sabbath am) where they got to see a live golden eagle. Your influence at this stage and until preteen and possibly teen years is the most effective. A little dose of Sabbath going every now and then probably won't hurt her, though boy I understand your fears. (the nursing issue is a good excuse right now!) I'll be praying for you to have wisdom in this! Patria | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 2133 Registered: 12-2003 |
Great questions, CB. The dynamics of your family will influence how you handle this situation, but you ALWAYS have the right (and responsibility!) to tell your loved ones what your own standards are for your children and that you want your own parents/siblings to honor them. Our kids were older when we leftósixth and 10th gradesóand we were very open with them about what we were studying and learning. I have to say, though, that introducing them to the Biblical gospel of grace and faith in Jesus had a HUGE part to play in their own ability to transition out of Adventism and not to be seduced back by family pressure. In fact, our boys are actually my step-sons; their birth mom's side of the family as well as Richard's parents are staunch, conservative Adventists. The reality of being loved by Jesus and of discovering the difference between an Adventist community and a Christian community was a very big part of their choosing to leave Adventism behind in spite of sometimes great family pressure. That being said, you can always ask your family not to discuss Ellen or SDA distinctives with your children. I understand that you have much personal ambivalence about Christianity in general--my opinion, though, is that if people talk to them about Jesus and His love without any specific denominational overtones (ie Sabbath, Ellen, the law, etc.) your kids will probably not be warped! The fact is that leaving SDAism does divide people. It's one of the most difficult things about discovering the truth about the denomination. I also will be praying for you and your wife to have great insight and wisdom as you face this problem. Colleen | ||
| Tisha Registered user Username: Tisha Post Number: 86 Registered: 3-2005 |
CB - that's a good question you ask about letting your dad's wife take your baby to Church! As a Grandma, I want to take my little granddaughter (S) to Church - for two reason's. I want to "show her off" and have my Church Family get to know another part of my family. I also want her to have exposure to Christianity in a Church setting. At home I sing to her, read to her, etc to tell her about Jesus. My daughter is a Christian, has turned her back on the SDA Church, but hasn't found another fellowship and doesn't see the need to at this time. My Son-in Law has never attended any Church. They don't mind me taking "S" to Church now and then, but I think they don't really want her to attend regularly, which I would like. The dilemna, as I see it, is that while I know that our Church is preaching truth and want "S" exposed to that, she is not my child. I still need to respect her parents wishes. Although this is the opposite of your question, it still relates to our wishes versus theirs. I believe the parents have the authority over this, however I want to have some influence if possible. It's a fine line I walk. I believe you as the parent can set the "rules", but I do understand the grandparents wish to take your daughter to church. I think in your place, I would go with them to Church OCCASIONALLY. That way you can show your love for you parents and show them you understand their wish to show off their Grandaughter. Make it clear that this is not to become a habit, but an occasional visit for thier enjoyment. Then, while you are there you can monitor what goes on. You can sit in Sabbath School with her and help her to get the right meaning out of what is said. As she gets older, you can discuss anything she hears, and clarify your view on it. I know I HATE to sit in a SDA Church service. I just cringe and get angry as to what is being preached. But I know what I believe and so would put up with that to protect my child. I know this might not work for everyone - it's just how I would handle it. I just spent a weekend with extended family in an SDA community. As it was a funeral for my Uncle (SDA), I went along with all the Church-going. When things got too uncomfortable in Church, I just read my Bible so I didn't have to hear the words of the preacher. Whenever the topic of my Church attendance came up, I told them I have left the SDA Church, but now attend a Bible-based Christian Church. I left it at that, and they seemed to accept it! When I could I would mention that it is so wonderful to understand that we are saved by accepting Christ's death alone for our sins. I made it clear that nothing we can do will earn us a place in Heaven. I could tell them that my Uncle was a Christian, and nothing he did or didn't do would make any difference - I know I'll see him in heaven! What more could they say?!! I think they got the picture! I don't think we can change anyone's mind, only plant the seeds and then pray! Boy - family can be exhausting at times! Let the Holy Spirit guide you - He will show you the answers. I'll pray for the Holy Spirit to give you wisdom in this in a way that is just right for YOU. -tisha | ||
| Seekr777 Registered user Username: Seekr777 Post Number: 176 Registered: 1-2003 |
Tisha you said, "I left it at that, and they seemed to accept it! When I could I would mention that it is so wonderful to understand that we are saved by accepting Christ's death alone for our sins. I made it clear that nothing we can do will earn us a place in Heaven. I could tell them that my Uncle was a Christian, and nothing he did or didn't do would make any difference - I know I'll see him in heaven! What more could they say?!! I think they got the picture! " I think they probably did get the picture and you did it gently and with love as you shared your relationship with Jesus Christ, what an awesome witness. Richard rtruitt@mac.com | ||
| Tdf Registered user Username: Tdf Post Number: 78 Registered: 11-2004 |
Colleen, You wrote "the fact is that leaving SDAism does divide people." Of course, I completely agree with this comment. But I must admit that I'm still struggling with accepting it. My experience teaches me that many SDAs have their Adventism so closely tied to their identity that when someone challenges Adventism, they view the challenge as a personal attack. In the case of my parents, we had always been able to disagree about certain things. I love rock music. I've never hid this from them and we've agreed to disagree. I work downtown and my parents are passionate about living in the country. We've agreed to disagree about this. However, we seem to be having a very difficult time reaching the point where we're able to agree to disagree about EGW, IJ or the Sabbath. It's clear that these issues are simply too close to my parents. It feels that they must maintain emotional distance from anyone who does not share these beliefs. Do you have any thoughts about this? I'm still trying to reach a point of acceptance about this. |
