| Author | Message | ||
| Randyg Registered user Username: Randyg Post Number: 41 Registered: 12-2004 |
This post is addressed to those of you who have been or currently are employed by the SDA church. What has been your experience when the spouse of a SDA pastor or teacher, etc. leaves the church. How does the employer(SDA church) deal with the remaining employee (spouse). Do they challenge the remaining spouse regarding their beliefs and or adherence to the fundamental beliefs? Do they scrutinize them at rehire time a little closer? I assume this is looked at more closely in the cases of pastoral and teachers families then say hospital workers. Your thoughts are welcome and sought. Randy | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 2023 Registered: 12-2003  |
Randy, I can't speak directly to your specific inquiry, but I'll comment on a slightly different observation which may help shed some light. I actually can't think of a situation in my experience which parallels the scenario you describe, but I am sure they exist. My husband continues to work for an SDA educational institution. Admittedly, his venue is perhaps not so "controlled" as an elementary or secondary school might be, and there are actually many non-SDA employees. In the last 3 or 4 years, however, there has been an increasing, purposeful attempt to be sure dept. managements positions are held by SDAs, whereas in the past many non-SDAs had held such postions. In his case, obviously, he is the direct problem, not just his wife. He has been completely up front about his leaving Adventism from the time he left. While overtly he has been "left alone", he has experienced many "off the record" "situations". Without revealing any specifics, I will just say that the first time a direct "off the record" situation happened, he was told the cause was his association with certain publications and websites. (Ahem.) That situation mysteriously "disappeared". Subsequent incidents have never been specifically linked to his non-Adventism or to his publishing activities, etc. He's quite certain, however, that those issues underlie many things that have happened. One day, about 3 or 4 years ago, one of the assoc. pastors at one of the large SDA churches in town stopped Richard on the street and said, "I admire what you're doing, and I admire that you have stayed inside the Adventist community. Most people leave the community when they leave the church, but you have stayed." Richard has stayed not so much because he has personally wanted to stay but because, as we have consistently prayed for God's direction regarding his work, he and I have both had a clear impression: "Wait." As Richard often puts it, "God has not released me yet." We have periodically talked about the impact of my being fairly public in my statements, etc., but he has always said, "They really can't say anything to me about my wife." All this being said, I'm sure there would be scrutiny, but that scrutiny would also have the flip side of providing opportunitiy for closet questioners to ask questions--kind of like Nicodemus meeting Jesus under cover of darkness, but being drawn to Him nonetheless. Not knowing the personal convictions of the employed spouse, I can't speculate on how things might go--but while there would doubtless be some awkwardness, there would also be opportunity. Sometimes God clearly moves us out of situations because He wants to take us where we can grow in new ways, too. I don't know if this helps, but there it is...! Colleen | ||
| Randyg Registered user Username: Randyg Post Number: 42 Registered: 12-2004 |
Colleen, thank-you for your answer.This whole process continues to be angst-filled and troubling. Your thoughts and prayers are always welcome. Randy | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 2039 Registered: 12-2003 |
You are in my prayers, Randy. Colleen | ||
| Dd Registered user Username: Dd Post Number: 461 Registered: 7-2004 |
Randy, I do not have a direct response to your question, I just know how difficult it is to step away as a daughter of parents who are "big-wigs" at the Union and Division levels of the SDA organization. For many, many years I have sat and heard my parents with their "big-wig" friends cut down people who have dared to go out on their own and accept their salvation throught the grace of God ALONE. Those people are "crucified" as confused, arrogant, radical, ugly, losers...I have heard all the terms...It is ugly and has made it all the more difficult for me to stand up for Jesus and walk away from the religion. I am praying for you and your wife, Randy. "For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and lentgh and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullnes of God. Now to Him WHO IS ABLE TO DO FAR MORE ABUNDANTLY BEYOND ALL THAT WE ASK OR THINK, according to the power that works with in us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus..." Eph. 3:14-21. | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 1560 Registered: 3-2004  |
Randyg, As much as I wanted to work in an SDA organization, God just did not arrange it that way for me. I cannot identify with you or with those who have SDA relatives who work at the local or conference level. I have SDA cousins who do not live near me and do not say much to me about leaving the SDA church. Only one distant cousin has said anything and I just treat her politely and tell her I pray for her. The one thing I can do is pray for you and I have added you to my prayer list. Diana | ||
| Lindylou Registered user Username: Lindylou Post Number: 60 Registered: 1-2005 |
Randyg, My parents went through a situation probably varied from yours - My dad was a conference man when my mom quit her work there as a secretary and then renounced the SDA church altogether. My dad was left going to church alone which he continued to do. He is still a dedicated SDA. From my observations (and mom, if you are reading this - you can set me straight!  ) it didn't seem that my dad faced any extra scrutiny or criticism. I think my mom felt written off by those that she had worked with for many years. She soon learned who her true friends were. My dad was able to continue working unharrassed until he retired. I think most folks just felt sorry for him. | ||
| Bb Registered user Username: Bb Post Number: 84 Registered: 7-2004 |
I know of two different scenarios. One is a woman who was an SDA elementary school teacher for over 20 years. Almost time for retirement and was driven over the edge by a prominent church member. She quit to save her sanity and lost her pension. The other is a young single girl who became pregnant and worked for an SDA college. Everyone reached out to her, including the college president and is helping her out. So I think it is like all areas of life. There are good and bad things that happen, good and bad responses to others. People who love the Lord in both SDA and out. Bb | ||
| Weimarred Registered user Username: Weimarred Post Number: 67 Registered: 1-2005 |
I don't know personally of any situation involving spouses, but where I went to high school, the kids of faculty members fooled around and she got pregnant (and miscarried). Neither the faculty members nor their kids were there the next year. I remember SDA pastors talking about how the church is for sinners, like a hospital is for sick people. It seemed hypocritical to me that these people were booted over a pregnancy. In their hour of great need, whoosh, they were gone. To me, it was yet another example of SDA religion vs. practicality. We were told simply "Don't do it." But when two "did it", there was nothing further that could be done for them. How shallow and ostracizing some religion is! I know I would have thought harder about foolig around had I seen how devastating and tough it is to be a teenaged parent (presuming no miscarraige). Regardless, they weren't around to see. |
