| Author | Message | ||
| Goose Registered user Username: Goose Post Number: 1 Registered: 11-2011 |
When I signed up as an Adventist at the tender age of just 22, I had never had the benefit of obtaining any professional counseling after having come through a quite dysfunctional family of origin. My father, now deceased, was a good person. He was faithful to mom, and provided, as best he knew how, for his 4 sons. But dad had a persecution complex, black and white thinking, and his world view was very much "us verses them." I don't blame him for this and I have forgiven him for the emotional damage he caused us. He was the oldest of 7 children when the great depression of 1929 hit and had to leave school and go to work at the age of 14. Dad also married way too young at just 20. Polish Catholic and no birth control, he never went back to school and his dream of becoming a doctor died. If I experienced what he did, I might not have done as well as he. So, with God's grace & mercy, I truly have found forgiveness for dad. But that was not always so. Mom was influenced to become SDA after dad turned ill. Writing to Amazing Facts for literature soon brought a bible worker knocking on the door,...and the only physician in the small Arizona town was SDA, too. After things did not go well for me trying to be an SDA pastor, I began to understand how SDA teachings were so appealing to our family. Dad's persecution complex, black and white thinking, and "us verses them" outlook on life was VERY similar to SDA world view, theology and mentality,... and therefore strangely comforting to us. It was comforting, but while enmeshed in yet another dysfunctional "family," there was no healing or even any consciousness of what transpired; of what happened to me, in our home. I did not know I had been emotionally & spiritually wounded as a child. All I knew was that I had a gnawing sense of inferiority and a very low sense of self esteem. How is it that in all the SDA sermons I heard, there was not one message to even begin to heal my soul? So, for me, not only was the Adventist "family" comforting, but also what I perceived, at the time, was a call to pastoral ministry. I say “perceived” because in retrospect, it was not God's calling at all, but my feelings of inferiority that compelled me to want to be a pastor. (The emotional wounds stemmed from my dad's inability to effectively love and support his children). I thought that doing something important like becoming a pastor would cause people to think well of me and then I could think well of myself. Boy, was I ever wrong on that! I had begun to become conscious of the emotional wounds after a legalistic season caused a loss of a treasured relationship. And there I was, after seminary, having to come up with sermon material. The only things I could honestly preach about were the words of Jesus that were touching and beginning to heal me. The conference wanted less psychology and more doctrine and I couldn't do that. Before one year was up, I was directed to take a leave of absence. The leave of absence led to eventually leaving Adventism. There is much more to this story, but this is good introduction and puts some meat on the bones of my topic heading. God's Peace Walt | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 9481 Registered: 3-2004  |
Welcome to FAF Walt(Goose)! You are in a good place here. Our awesome God led you here. Diana L | ||
| Helovesme2 Registered user Username: Helovesme2 Post Number: 2930 Registered: 8-2004  |
Welcome to FAF! Thanks for sharing this piece of your journey. I look forward to getting to know you. Blessings, Mary | ||
| Mjcmcook Registered user Username: Mjcmcook Post Number: 189 Registered: 2-2011 |
~WELCOME~ to the Forum, Goose~ aka: Walt~  ~*~mj~*~ | ||
| Thegoldenway Registered user Username: Thegoldenway Post Number: 209 Registered: 5-2011 |
Welcome to the Forum Goose! Looking forward to reading 'the rest of the story' lynn | ||
| Rossbondreturns Registered user Username: Rossbondreturns Post Number: 294 Registered: 10-2009  |
Yo Goose! Welcome to the Family! Ross | ||
| Goose Registered user Username: Goose Post Number: 2 Registered: 11-2011  |
Thanks for the encouragement, all. I've really felt a new work God doing in me since I read through the entire latest edition of Proclamation. And, am am really happy to have found this website! | ||
| Skeeter Registered user Username: Skeeter Post Number: 1692 Registered: 12-2007  |
Welcome Goose Francie/Skeeter | ||
| Goose Registered user Username: Goose Post Number: 4 Registered: 11-2011 |
Thank you, Francie. Thank you for reading my topic post. | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 13117 Registered: 12-2003  |
Walt, welcome to the forum! You're in a good place here--I learn so much and find so much support here. We look forward to getting to know you. Thanks for the introduction above. You are so not alone; Adventism breeds dysfunction, I'm afraid. Thanks for joining us! Colleen | ||
| Philharris Registered user Username: Philharris Post Number: 2609 Registered: 5-2007  |
Walt, Welcome to the forum. Reading your post #1, I had the feeling I was reading the biography of a brother with your father sounding just like mine. The only differances are that my dad was raised SDA and you seem to have a much better understanding of expressing how this has affected your outlook on life. Phil | ||
| Jim02 Registered user Username: Jim02 Post Number: 1405 Registered: 5-2007 |
Welcome Goose, Have you escaped from legalism as yet? What words have been healing to you? Jim | ||
| Asurprise Registered user Username: Asurprise Post Number: 2226 Registered: 7-2007 |
Welcome to the forum, Goose! | ||
| Hec Registered user Username: Hec Post Number: 1845 Registered: 3-2009 |
Welcome to the forum, Walt. Hec | ||
| Goose Registered user Username: Goose Post Number: 8 Registered: 11-2011 |
Thanks for the good words Colleen, Phil,..and Hec and Asurprise. Jim, you asked have I escaped from legalism as yet, and what words have been healing to you? A long time ago now, as I had begun to become conscious of how my family of origin baggage had attracted me to Adventism beliefs, I discovered a spiritual gold mine of grace by ignoring the chapter division between John 13 & 14. So, Jim, to answer your questions, though there may still be some lingering legalistic thoughts, Jesus words "Let not your heart be troubled" and "in my Fathers house are many mansions" come at the top of the heap. I recently submitted a page about this to The Upper Room, and am sharing that here: WHEN WE FAIL GOD Read John 13:37--John 14:2 While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 (KJV) Thought For The Day: Though we often fail God, He is confident in His ability to save us. While in graduate school, I learned the original manuscripts of the Bible were written without chapter divisions. I tucked this bit of information away at about the time I was falling deeply in love with a woman I so wanted to marry. But it was not to be. I was so shattered and brokenhearted that I grew disillusioned and angry with God. In fact, on a walk in the woods one day, I felt so distraught that I picked up a downed tree limb and smashed it to pieces against a tree, imagining the tree was God. Even still, during these times, I still read my bible. One day, I happened upon the end of John chapter 13, where Christ had foretold of Peter's failure in denying he even knew Christ. And, I thought about my own failure in that walk in the woods, and what I'd done. But, I read on. Remembering chapter divisions did not exist in the original manuscripts, in a burst of wondrous and hopeful illumination, I saw for the first time, that the very questions Peter was asking Jesus in John 13, Jesus continued to answer in John 14! Jesus had not spoken the words “Let not your heart be troubled” into thin air; He was speaking directly to Peter! How comforting are the words of God in the context of this revelation to Peter. Evidently, God is so very confident in His ability to save us that He is preparing a place for us. And, even though He knows how often we may fail Him! Prayer: Creator, God, sometimes this very dangerous and dark world causes us to fear, be distraught, and heartbroken. But thank you for the light of Your Word which sheds hope, even when things seem like they are falling apart all around us. Thank you for preparing a place for us—while we are yet imperfect and sometimes, failures. And thank you that if that were not so, You would have told us. In Christ's name, Amen. Walter Puciata (Arizona) Prayer Focus: PEOPLE WHO FEEL THEY'VE DISSAPPOINTED AND LET GOD DOWN | ||
| Bosslady Registered user Username: Bosslady Post Number: 24 Registered: 7-2009 |
Welcome Walt! I can so relate to your story. There are many in my family with scars from years of trying to conform to the church and the striving to be perfect. Never measuring up to parents and church warps the mind. You either become arrogant and judgmental or you become insecure and depressed. Then the two are co- dependent in order to feel good about themselves. Dysfunctional! It's nice be be among friends that understand where you've come from and to share in the joy of your journey to a better life! | ||
| Goose Registered user Username: Goose Post Number: 9 Registered: 11-2011 |
Bosslady said: "Never measuring up to parents and church warps the mind. You either become arrogant and judgmental or you become insecure and depressed. Then the two are co- dependent in order to feel good about themselves. Dysfunctional!" Wow. The two ditches, judgmental arrogance and insecure depression. Maybe for some of us, we have to first find out what is wrong, before finding out what is right. Finding out first, what is false, before finding what is true. So thankful to God for bringing "beauty from ashes." "The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness." | ||
| Mkfound Registered user Username: Mkfound Post Number: 155 Registered: 1-2011 |
Welcome to the forum Walt. Marina | ||
| Cloudwatcher Registered user Username: Cloudwatcher Post Number: 600 Registered: 5-2009  |
Welcome, Walt! | ||
| Grace_alone Registered user Username: Grace_alone Post Number: 2002 Registered: 6-2006  |
Hi Walt ~ welcome! I appreciate your positive attitude. Looking forward to reading more from you. Leigh Anne | ||
| Gcfrankie Registered user Username: Gcfrankie Post Number: 835 Registered: 1-2007 |
Welcome Walt/Goose. I love Romans and Galations as they both removed the veil the rest of the way that had started slipping. In Romans it was the Roman Road that someone laid out for me to read. As I look back the church goes after those who are insecure in themselves. I was one of those. May God bless you as you walk your journey in the Lord Jesus Christ. Gail | ||
| Kiki Registered user Username: Kiki Post Number: 34 Registered: 9-2011 |
Welcome to the forum Walt. Romans 8:28 We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God-those whom he has called according to his plan. | ||
| Butterfly_poette Registered user Username: Butterfly_poette Post Number: 98 Registered: 5-2011 |
I have been so emotionally abused in the church. It is painful. God is there. Welcome Walt! |
