| Author | Message | ||
| River Registered user Username: River Post Number: 1480 Registered: 9-2006  |
For whatever reasons I have come to know several Adventist on a personal level, I really can’t sit here and say that this was providence that all this has come about and yet I do trust the Lord with my pathway and to lead me moment by moment in whatever crosses that path. But for whatever reason this series of events have taken place over the last five years, I have to commit to God daily. And for whatever reason I have never felt that I have been led to contend with them on doctrinal issues as yet and I must depend on the leading of the Holy Spirit in this. I do feel that God has led me to speak of the hope and assurance in Christ Jesus and the salvation he has given me. There is one person especially that my heart has grieved for, his lack of assurance in particular and his humble stance toward God. Is it worth five years work to minister to one man? I think it is. I will leave the numbers up to God. Little by little over the last five years and especially the last three months, I think I have detected changes in his language and changes in him. This morning he remarked on the condition of the church sanctuaries and how the devil comes into them and the condition of the world, and right away I tried to take the high road and remark that Jesus has won the victory and we don’t have to be dismayed and then after the meeting was over I prayed for him that God would again touch him. When the talk turns to defeat it is so easy to get sucked into that and that’s why we need to live in the victorious life of Jesus at all times so that we do not easily get sucked into words of defeat. I confess that I don’t always take the right tact, like a bad boxer, when I should feint right I feint left and run right into the opponents glove, but I feel I am making a few solid connections now and then nevertheless. For whatever reasons I have entered this ring, I am having to learn the fight of faith and just to bide my time and be satisfied with well placed blows. Please pray for me, I don’t ask you to pray for these Adventist you probably don’t even know although it is entirely possible some of you may know some of them personally, But I know it’s hard to really pray for folk we don’t know personally or it is for me. But please pray for me that I will say the right thing and not be caught up in a defeatist attitude, but go on to victory in Christ Jesus, that I will be able to dwell in the victory of Jesus so that I will be able to per mote a victorious demeanor at all times while in the presence of these people. I feel like sometimes I rap on too much on your forum, far too much, forgive me for that, but do realize that you are the only fellowship I have and the only ones who would understand me at all. Its like when I go to my own church I am entering in on foreign soil accept for the blessing and presence of the lord, the people don’t have anything in common with me anymore accept common Christian fellowship if you know what I mean, and so I probably tend to overdo it a bit on the forum. Some times I feel like you are strangers in a way, the Adventists are strangers in a way, and my own church group are strangers in a way and I end up not belonging anywhere and perhaps I don’t. I have great feeling of inadequacy at times like these. I withdrew completely from the church for five years previously to the last five years and I am beginning to wonder if even that withdrawal was not preparation for the last five years now. I feel like my moorings have been cut from all I previously knew and I have landed smack dab in the middle of something else and am forced to find my way all over again. But for the solid Bible preparation I had in the 70’s I feel like I would go crazier than a bedbug. Thankfully in all this the Gospel has never changed from the solid teaching I received away back there, His Word remains solid and indisputable. I suppose Moses would have been hard put to understand how being left on the back side of a desert herding sheep would have prepared him for the Job ahead and I fail to see how withdrawal from a church would have prepared me for this, But reading how the Lord has worked in the past, I can’t say its out of character either. Forgive me for ranting this morning. Please pray for me, I don’t always feel this needy and vulnerable. As I finished this letter I felt like I really needed to hear from God so I took down my Bible and just opened it up and the first scripture that my eyes landed on was Ephesians 6:13,14, 15 and 16, now isn’t that just like our Lord? River | ||
| Philharris Registered user Username: Philharris Post Number: 187 Registered: 5-2007  |
River, Although you seem much better in writing out your thoughts than I am, we seem much alike. And, I say that in spite of the fact I have never had a "speaking in tongues" experience that you refer so much to. What I am saying is that we both have a "burden" and seem so much physically alone from the bulk of like minded believers. This forum does make up for that and I treasure your many "rantings" so don't stop. Many times you say the things I don't know how to put into words. Judging by one of your personal comments, you appear to live somewhere down in Oregon. By your way with words, I assume it must be "southern" Oregon  . What I am suggesting is that we should get together some time in the near future. The best way for me to travel is by train, so, do you live anywhere near the Amtrak line? I have Adventist family as far south as in Sutherlin, Oregon, so I could make it a multiple purpose trip, all for the glory of our Savior. Phil | ||
| Loneviking Registered user Username: Loneviking Post Number: 589 Registered: 7-2000 |
River wrote: Its like when I go to my own church I am entering in on foreign soil accept for the blessing and presence of the lord, the people don’t have anything in common with me anymore accept common Christian fellowship if you know what I mean, and so I probably tend to overdo it a bit on the forum. Some times I feel like you are strangers in a way, the Adventists are strangers in a way, and my own church group are strangers in a way and I end up not belonging anywhere and perhaps I don’t. ------------------------------------------ Yep, I know that feeling of not belonging anywhere. I get along great with lots of folks from different churches--Baptist, some of the Church of Christ, Non-denominational, EV Free. But doctrinally, and experientially, I (and most of us on this board I suspect) are coming from a place that these folks can't understand. You're not alone River..... | ||
| River Registered user Username: River Post Number: 1481 Registered: 9-2006 |
Phil, The nearest thing to a train around here is probably some wagon train that got lost somewhere around 1867 and haven't found their way out. I understand you live up around puget sound area, I might could run up there and we could have lunch sometime. If you could send your e-mail address through Colleen or you can put it on here we will try to get together for a chat. (or) I could go in and pick you up at the train station if you are coming through sometime. Sounds like your clan is stretched up and down the I-5 corridor. I used to dive in the sound until about 1995 when I turned it over to the sprouts and sold my diving gear and boat. I also got cheap phone service so maybe we could get together by phone. River | ||
| Philharris Registered user Username: Philharris Post Number: 188 Registered: 5-2007 |
River, Here's my email: phillharris@wavecable.com I also have unlimited longdistance phone service. Once we are in connect via email, I will share the rest of my contact information. Phil P.S. I have family that came by wagon train and I don't think they got lost until they bogged down in Blachly, Oregon.  | ||
| Philharris Registered user Username: Philharris Post Number: 189 Registered: 5-2007 |
Loneviking and River, The prime reason that I would like to get in "eye ball" contact with at least one of you wonderful people on this forum is that I also have this feeling of not belonging anywhere. This not to say I don't have many Christian friends, I do, but very few, except here on the forum, know or understand what I have "x-caped" from. Phil | ||
| Gcfrankie Registered user Username: Gcfrankie Post Number: 42 Registered: 1-2007 |
Phil, May I also contact you on your e-mail as I also feel left out in left field after leaving the church as I live in an area that is steeped in adventistism. I have been going to a baptist church and the Pastor knows absolutely nothing about the SDA. I feel like I am walking on eggs at times as sometimes I let slip with words that adventist use such as Sabbath instead of Sunday. I gently get corrected and then I want to climb in a big hole and hide away but I refuse to do that as I know that would really please Satan. No way am I going to give him any help!!!! River I can so relate to how you feel! I am trying so hard to not let depression set in. Praise Jesus Christ for being the rock we can lean on. Still it is hard not to slip off of. Gail | ||
| River Registered user Username: River Post Number: 1487 Registered: 9-2006 |
Gail, Don't let depression get a foot hold, I am going to prayer for you right now as soon as I send this. You hang in there and look to Jesus. I'm absolutely positive there are others who will lift you up in prayer. Any time I need prayer I am going to ask for it, which I did. Bless you. River | ||
| Philharris Registered user Username: Philharris Post Number: 191 Registered: 5-2007 |
Gail, Certainly email me. As for myself, I am not a person prone to depression. But, I do get a certain kind of loneliness when people appear to not understand me or where I come from. Fortunately, my next door neighbor, who is blessed with the role of being an elder, in the purest sense, was partially raised by his SDA grandmother. He never became one himself but he understands much that most others do not. Your brother in Christ, Phil | ||
| Patriar Registered user Username: Patriar Post Number: 413 Registered: 3-2005 |
Wow. You all have expressed so perfectly the reason for this forum. We are unique from any other Christian. We have unique things to offer Christianity and we have unique vulnerabilites and hurts that often people in the Christian church at large just do NOT understand. They're not trying to be calloused, they just can't understand. God has given us each other for a reason. I confess to having been going through an incredibly empty, isolated time lately. I have one very good friend who is also a former and we live in the same town. That helps me so much. I would encourage you all to get together if at all possible. The feeling of safety when you're with someone else who 'understands' your unique understanding of the New Covenant is priceless. River, I love to read your posts! You are such an encourager. You are one Christian at large who has taken an interest in us poor, soul starving former Adventists. That's a gift from God to us. AND don't forget the FAF conference in Feb! Patria | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 6821 Registered: 12-2003  |
Gail, I am praying for you now. And River, I am praying for you. Even though there are other "formers" around us, I still oftn have that awareness of being alone, of being "different" and even, maybe, considered "over the top". With most other formers, I feel understood. But with other Christians, I am aware that there are many things I just cannot share with them. What I have found is that as the years go by (and as I am able to process my thoughts, memories, feelings, and the spiritual reality of what I was in with others who have also experienced it) the loneliness and "oddness" becomes less intense. I am aware, often, that I see certain issues with an intensity that those around me don't share, but I'm learning that it's OK. This forum exists to provide community and a place to process what we've shared in common. You know, alchoholics and other addicts have various recovery groups available. There are even organizations for people escaping Mormonism, and people escaping other cults are recognized as being in psychological and spiritual crisis and can obtain proper counseling and debriefing. Leaving Adventism, though, is one of the least understood processes of all. We enter a spiritual isolation and deep trauma that few recognize. Again, it's very much like leaving a high-profile, admired family that hides a dark and destructive secret of incest or other abuse. Who would believe the victims of such a family? Especially if they're admired community figures... I just thank God that He meets us here and ministers to us, knitting us together by His Spirit and healing our hearts through each other's insight, understanding, prayer, and love. I am so grateful for all of you! And River and Leigh Anne and all those who have "never been"—you are part of us. Because of your intimacy with Adventists, you understand the isolation, marginalizing, and lack of understanding that we who have left feel. Colleen |
