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Reb
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Username: Reb

Post Number: 576
Registered: 5-2007
Posted on Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 9:28 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

This morning I matter-of-factly told my wife that I found another SDB Church in Gardena where I will be going on the Sabbaths she is on duty. It is much closer than the one in Riverside and I will be able to drop our son off at the SDA church per her wishes and still be on time.

Turns out her worry about my leaving Adventism is that I would leave her. I made it VERY CLEAR to her that I will ALWAYS love her and I will ALWAYS be with her and will NEVER leave her. I am just walking away from Adventism and this is not about her, it is about what I believe to be the TRUTH.

I reminded her that I was spiritually abused and mentally traumatised by SDA doctrine including and especially the Sunday Laws. I reminded her that I am a better person now since switching to the SDB church and have hopes and dreams that I NEVER had when I was SDA(including pursuing my Master's Degree in Mathematics FINALLY).

I reminded her that my ONLY hope and dream when I was an Adventist was to DIE before the Sunday laws come.

She actually said lovingly that she is sorry that I was so traumatised by Adventism and she understands. She even admitted she wishes the SDA church would stop preaching the Sunday Law stuff and focus on the good news. I reminded her that that ain't gonna happan just two weeks ago the SDA pastor preached a sermon on the Sabbath and Sunday Laws and there is even a new book in the ABC flyer about the Sunday Laws.

SO she understands now and is going to lay off of me about it. She said she wishes I would've ignored the "fanatics" but I didn't. But she did advise out son not to let the "fanatics" get to him like they did me.

I also reminded her that Baptists have individual liberty of consicence and I can still keep the Levitical food laws if I am convicted to do so and I will. Paul even said in Rom 14 if a food is a stumbling block to your brother don't eat it so I am now convincted that because of that I will keep the Levitical food laws again even though the SDB church doesn't require me to. It's a small price to pray.

Praise God! He is so GOOD! And He is FAITHFUL.

Just wanted to share with y'all that I stood my grouund and it's a BRAND NEW BALLGAME!
Jorgfe
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Username: Jorgfe

Post Number: 609
Registered: 11-2005
Posted on Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 10:20 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Reb, that is an answer to our prayers. Praise God. I am so happy for you.

I predict that if you faithfully attend the SDB fellowship, she will come with you just to see what it is all about. She is not that committed to Adventism. She is just frightened by the possibility of things "spinning out of control". You are the stability in her life.

Adventists don't have Christ as their anchor, in spite of the lip service they give. Their anchor is the Seventh-day Adventist denomination. God has given you the assignment of gently leading her to replace that in her life with a lasting rest in Jesus.

Your brother in Christ,

Gilbert
Reb
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Username: Reb

Post Number: 577
Registered: 5-2007
Posted on Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 3:45 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I think you're right Gilbert.
Flyinglady
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Username: Flyinglady

Post Number: 4154
Registered: 3-2004


Posted on Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 4:43 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Reb, I am so happy for you. So your wife thought you would leave her??? I am so glad she knows you will not. I am praying for you and your son and your wife. God loves them more than we do.
Diana
Insearchof
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Username: Insearchof

Post Number: 144
Registered: 8-2005
Posted on Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 7:41 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Reb,

This is good news! I have been praying for your situation and it is a joy to hear that there is new understanding and acceptance between you and your wife.

It is a hard thing for all of you to go through this. Lean on God and not your own understaning.

You, your wife and your son remain in my prayers.

ISO
River
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Username: River

Post Number: 1293
Registered: 9-2006


Posted on Sunday, August 19, 2007 - 7:02 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

So Reb, you finally got to the heart of the matter didn’t you? The whole problem was all a long that your wife was afraid you would abandon her and the boy or maybe even try to take the boy.

You see how important it is for you to be a spiritual leader? Reb, if your wife feels threatened by anything in this world, whether it be another woman or another religion it is up to you to see that she doesn’t feel threatened.

Now I know us males are a little on the stupid side where it comes to picking up on anything from our beloved wives, if they start to thump us on the chest we better be trying to find out what’s causing it.

After 45 years of marriage I have learned to pick up on these little signs and to look for them and I feel it my Christian duty to put her mind at ease.

It used to be we would be driving down the road and pass a woman walking and she would pinch me or whack my arm even if I kept my eyes straight ahead and I’d say “ouch, what did you do that for?” and she’d say “that’s for thinking!”

A woman just does not like encroachment on her territory by sideways looks or any other thing and I mean ANYTHING.

Seems to me your whole problem is reassurance. How you do that is not up to me to say, but I will say this, you better get to finding a way to gitter’ done.
River
Honestwitness
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Username: Honestwitness

Post Number: 299
Registered: 7-2005


Posted on Sunday, August 19, 2007 - 3:23 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Praise God, Reb! This is very good news indeed. I'm smiling on the outside and on the inside to learn of the way He resolved this for you and your wife. I truly believe we formers who have spouses still in the church have a unique opportunity to minister to Adventists in a way no one else can. Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Honestwitness
Lucybugg
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Username: Lucybugg

Post Number: 71
Registered: 2-2007
Posted on Monday, August 20, 2007 - 7:10 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Praise the Lord!
Reb
Registered user
Username: Reb

Post Number: 579
Registered: 5-2007
Posted on Monday, August 20, 2007 - 10:27 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Yes, Praise Him!!!!!!!!
Lydell
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Username: Lydell

Post Number: 767
Registered: 7-2000
Posted on Monday, August 20, 2007 - 3:41 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Reb, that is awesome. I hope if you are not already in the habit of doing so, you will learn to talk naturally about your walk with the Lord.....not doctrines but relationship. What is the Lord showing you in the Word about who he is? and what He can do? What things do you notice each day that are proof to you that He cares for you and your family? What are you thankful to Him for at any given moment? She needs to hear and see that Christ is a vital part of your day to day life. That's something folks really don't hear much about while they are in Adventism.

As a woman, can I offer one thing you can do for your wife to reassure her? Each day make a point of letting her hear you pray for her, thanking God that she is a good wife and mother. Makes our little hearts melt I guarantee ya.
Reb
Registered user
Username: Reb

Post Number: 589
Registered: 5-2007
Posted on Monday, August 20, 2007 - 3:47 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

That's a great idea, Lydell!
Dale
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Username: Dale

Post Number: 6
Registered: 4-2007


Posted on Monday, August 20, 2007 - 4:44 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Reb, one of the most important discoveries I have made in working with Adventists is the order of subjects to study. You probably already know this but in case the importance has not gripped you yet. Start with the Gospel. Adventists are hungry for the gospel. Many will tell you that they understand Justification by faith in Christ alone. I have found that if they tell you that another question or two is in order. "What do you have to do to stay saved?" "Are you ready for Christ to come today?" Historic Adventist theology is very muddy here. In the early writings of Ellen White she said her angel told her, "get ready, get ready, get ready" then she went on to say that some would have to do in a matter of a few months what others had taken years to do. Obviously, there was a complete lack of understanding of the gospel not only by Ellen White, but by the "angel" who communicated to her all of the false theology she wrote down. If the thief on the cross could be ready to go with Christ to Paradise in a mater of moments, it does not take long to be saved. You might want to check out “The Transitional Path” at www.LifeAssuranceMinistries.com
Agapetos
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Username: Agapetos

Post Number: 983
Registered: 10-2002


Posted on Tuesday, August 21, 2007 - 12:04 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Reb, I haven't said congrats yet, but bro I'm stoked for you & your family! God is awesome and I'm humbled by what He's doing for you all.

Stand strong in Him!

Dale, good advice!! I think the Gospel is the alpha and omega of Adventists' needs -- everything else will come in-between and in good timing. But the Gospel is what they are most starving for.
Reb
Registered user
Username: Reb

Post Number: 594
Registered: 5-2007
Posted on Tuesday, August 21, 2007 - 7:00 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

The Gospel is what I am focusing on. I was starving for it.
Susans
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Username: Susans

Post Number: 424
Registered: 8-2006
Posted on Tuesday, August 21, 2007 - 7:50 am:   Edit PostDelete PostPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Reb,

That's wonderful news! Sometimes our spouses are afraid if we go outside of the 'comfort zone' that we will leave them behind. I'm glad you assured her your leaving the church does not mean leaving her. I will continue to pray for you as you walk more with Jesus.


Susan

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