| Author |
Message |
Leigh
Registered user
Username: Leigh
Post Number: 180
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 6:32 am: |     |
Gilbert, in another thread you mentioned Dr. Battistone. I knew him and his family well. His son was a good friend of mine in academy and in college. |
Stevendi
Registered user
Username: Stevendi
Post Number: 182
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 6:32 am: | |
Reb,
I feel the need to repeat my former advice. Your wife is feeling that she is losing control. You need to quit explaining yourself to her. She needs the opportunity to explain her beliefs to you. That is the only way she will discover the truth of scripture. She feels like she is on the defensive. She is, so allow her to convince you and her of what she believes and why. Truth has a way of presenting itself in different ways. Also, be careful about comments you make about Adventism to her. She probably internalizes those words to herself.
steve |
Jorgfe
Registered user
Username: Jorgfe
Post Number: 462
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 9:19 am: | |
Leigh,
His son and daughter-in-law are good friends of ours. We still see them all occasionally.
He was the pastor at Fletcher, NC during part of the 80's. His successor, Paul Anderson was a close friend of ours.
There were a lot of things that happened in the Carolina conference in the 80's.
Gilbert Jorgensen |
Jorgfe
Registered user
Username: Jorgfe
Post Number: 463
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 9:21 am: | |
Steve,
That is some really good advice.
Gilbert Jorgensen |
Colleentinker
Registered user
Username: Colleentinker
Post Number: 6406
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 10:56 am: | |
I agree--that is good advice, Steve.
Colleen |
Stevendi
Registered user
Username: Stevendi
Post Number: 183
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 12:01 pm: | |
Reb,
I just had a thought. Maybe you could use the studies available on FAF to study through with your wife. There are many ways to approach this. Have her study a lesson seperately, write down her specific questions/concerns and study and pray over the answer(s) right out of the Bible. Do not interpret, just read and pray. Do not argue or defend. Only ask and listen. If you two will allow one question to lead itself to other questions, the next thing you know, you will be discovering together, rather than trying to convince. The questions are quite straightforward:
1-How so?
2-Can we compare that verse to another (exegesis)?
3-Where do you suppose that idea came from, and how does that compare with what Jesus said?
4-Honey, let's go through the 4 gospels and list every reference about salvation and the Kingdom that Jesus spoke of. Then, let's compare that to what the 28 fundamentals or for that matter, any other church creed and see what we come up with.
The beauty of the Studies from FAF is that it is directly from scripture. Keep the comments attached to each lesson separate from your study until you have completely finished and discussed by you and your wife. Then, and only then, look at the supplementals as sweetner only, because they are commentaries, not meant to be interpretive, only a guide.
5) I believe that this forum can present harm as well as good. It is possible to immerse oneself in any number of "venting" outlets. For encouragement, enlightenment, advice, sharing, this forum is great. But like anything else, it can be abused by using it in a self-indulgent way. I'm not saying you are, but at some point, every person on here has to decide when and where to draw the line on venting frustration only. The main purpose of this forum (I believe) is to heal and direct all of us back to Christ, regardless of religious or cultural environments. All of us are led by the Holy Spirit, not each other (thank God).
I do not mean to preach Reb. I just joined an intensive prayer warrior group in our church, and it is astounding and humbling to discover things about myself that have (and are) impeding the Lord's work with others. Sometimes, my "golden tongue" has caused great pain and embarrassment to myself and others. Pray, look back and listen to yourself, ask the Holy Spirit to show you what effect your words can have on others - good and bad.
Slow down on this adventist stuff, it takes time and people are addicted to it. Until they see something better, they will not change. It is extremely difficult to co-exist with adventists once God leads you out. Only in His Grace and restraint can it be done. The last time I found myself in an adventist church, I lay awake and worried and prayed most of the night. The moment I walked in and sat down, I experienced tremendous peace. Suddenly, I could care less what anyone thought or what I thought about them. I prayed, sang, listened and focused on Jesus during that whole time. I sat there in His chair, and for the first time, did not have to battle feelings of hatred, self-righteousness, vengance, comparison, judgement, criticism. Nothing. Just Peace knowing that He had answered my prayer before going in.
I hope you don't mind me speaking my mind. Any judgement on my part would be unfair, as I don't know you other than what I read. But I can empathize from similar experience, and it is from my heart that I write this to you. If you would like to correspond via email, feel free to get that from Colleen.
Sometimes I just have to shut up and pray,
Steve |
Leigh
Registered user
Username: Leigh
Post Number: 181
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 12:46 pm: | |
Hi Gilbert, could I get your email address or I could have Colleen send you mine? I am leaving shortly for the weekend, but I will be back on Monday.
Thanks,
Leigh |
Colleentinker
Registered user
Username: Colleentinker
Post Number: 6410
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 3:22 pm: | |
Steve, that is such great insight and advice. Thank you--it's good for all of us. The purpose of the body of Christ is to strengthen one another until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God, become mature, and experience the whole fulness of Christ (Ephesians 4:12-13).
Reb, my sense is that you are conflicted inside about what to do with what you know. Bottom line: nothing will improve until you act on the truth and surrender your struggle to Jesus. Insight follows obedience. It does not precede it. Your real struggle is not with your wife; it's with your own fear. Jesus is dealing with you regarding trusting Him. It is a distraction to worry about your wife's responses. He is in control, and He alone will guard and hold your heart.
Colleen |
Freeindeed
Registered user
Username: Freeindeed
Post Number: 34
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 4:28 pm: | |
Steve, I'm talking on the phone to you now as I'm typing and found the post you were talking about. God bless you brother. Thanks for calling.
Freeindeed
(Message edited by Freeindeed on July 28, 2007) |
Randyg
Registered user
Username: Randyg
Post Number: 417
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 5:22 pm: | |
Freeindeed,
It is so good to see you here again.
I have appreciated your witness on CARM, on the occasions that I visit there.
Randy |
Freeindeed
Registered user
Username: Freeindeed
Post Number: 36
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 5:37 pm: | |
Randy,
I looked up your name today and saw that you had not been there in a while. I have posted very little over the past couple of months but today is a different story.
About 3 months ago I got the impression that God was telling me to let go of Adventism, even though I left over a year ago (it takes so much time to get rid of 35 years of SDAism). My posts started to drop off and I have found myself not thinking about it as much as I used to. The healing is taking place and the Adventist culture is not what it once was in my veins. My veins are now filled with Jesus Christ! He is our everything! The freedom only gets better over time.
Randy, I've always appreciated your encouraging remarks in your posts. May the true Gospel of Jesus Christ alone be lifted up as we come into contact with others searching for the real answer (Jesus).
God Bless,
Freeindeed |
Colleentinker
Registered user
Username: Colleentinker
Post Number: 6417
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 8:26 pm: | |
Freeindeed, it's good to see you--and praise God for His healing in your heart! It really does take two to five years to process out of Adventism. Isn't it amazing and wonderful to realize that you aren't deeply, internally connected to Adventism anymore?
The freedom and healing is so profound. Jesus is truly all we need.
Colleen |
Freeindeed
Registered user
Username: Freeindeed
Post Number: 37
Registered: 3-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 8:38 pm: | |
Thank you Colleen. I hear your name mentioned from time to time on a couple of other forums from current SDA's. Just want to encourage you in your ministry here on this forum.
There is nothing that even comes close to touching the freedom that comes from being in Christ and not trying to work your way to eternal life.
Freeindeed |
Zjason
Registered user
Username: Zjason
Post Number: 62
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, July 29, 2007 - 4:56 am: | |
Reb-I'm still in the place that I was before, but my wife is tiring of the congregation at the current church we attend here in SE mn. She'd like to start going to the one we attended a number of years back, which is about 20 miles further than the one we attend now. (we switched to the current church then for convenience since our son started going to the church school in 1st grade-but we pulled him out after a year, since the one-room-multigrade thing wasn't working out for him.)
Anywho, the previous church we went to, my wife had more friends there, and last weekend for her was a breath of fresh air, being able to visit with old friends-hence her wanting to go back to previous church. It was ok for me, but I still had some discomfort with the opinions expressed by the husbands.
Previous church is more diverse, has a more transient congregation, more differing viewpoints, so it could be interesting to see what is going on there.
Sorry, I diverged from what I was initially going to post. I wanted to say that I'm watching what is transpiring in your relationship with your wife and how I can model your experience for when I finally "come out" officially. However, don't use that as a reason to be firm. Be strong in Christ. I'm just watching. And praying(I can't believe I've started praying again, though it is sometimes like pulling teeth.)
Have a great day everybody!! |
Reb
Registered user
Username: Reb
Post Number: 465
Registered: 5-2007
| | Posted on Sunday, July 29, 2007 - 9:07 am: | |
Gilbert I hope your wife will make a complete recovery and be completely well.
Steve, good insight and advice.
Yesterday I went to SDB church like I had planned. My son did not go to church and my wife asked him and he lied and said he went to Adventist church. My wife asked me and I told her the truth. She laid down ground rule:
On weekends she works I have to drop my son at the SDA church before I go to SDB church. I can attend Baptist church if I want to but our son is NOT allowed to go there she said she does not want him to be "lost". In essence she does not want him "contaminated" by Baptist beliefs.
I have been careful about what I say about Adventism to my wife as I don't wish to offend her. I stick with this is what the Bible says and EGW doesn't match.
Oh I have "come out of the closet" to another Adventist freind that I trust. He kinda understood but said he'll pray for me that I find what's "right". I said that's fair, that's what I want. He offered to do an Adventist Bible study with me which I diplomatically declined.
I made it clear that I love the people at the Adventist church and wish to remain friends, this is 100% doctrine.
At least my wife has come to realise that I am going to be SDB rather than SDA and she's tolerating it but does not want me "contaminating" our son with Baptist beliefs.
Hmmmmm Baptist beliefs are Christ-centred and 100% BIBLE ONLY HOW is that "contaminating" him?
It wierd. I could see getting static IF I left Adventism to live a hedonistic party-hearty lifestyle. I left Adventism to FOLLOW JESUS not do what I want. Go figure.
I really feel the Spirit and really worship God when I go to SDB Church and I've really found Jesus there and I'm NOT giving Him up. |
Reb
Registered user
Username: Reb
Post Number: 466
Registered: 5-2007
| | Posted on Sunday, July 29, 2007 - 9:09 am: | |
Oh and Jason, I wanted to ask you. Is there an SDB church in your area? Would your wife be willing to try that? It's a LOT better than SDA. I feel like I've stepped out of the darkness and into the light since going to SDB church. |
Sara
Registered user
Username: Sara
Post Number: 28
Registered: 5-2007
| | Posted on Sunday, July 29, 2007 - 12:34 pm: | |
Hi ZJason,
I dont remember you story, are you currently SDA, transitioning out? Thats how is seems from your post.
I was just taking notice that you said you are praying again, and for that I say Yes!
Good to see you, and the prayer statement made me happy for you. The God of the universe is leaning in toward you as you pray, bending his ear toward you. He wants to give you more of Him, and He is faithful when you ask.
Im gonna start a new thread about prayer, so I dont derail this one.
Sara |
Colleentinker
Registered user
Username: Colleentinker
Post Number: 6424
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, July 29, 2007 - 9:27 pm: | |
ZJason, I am so happy to read that you have begun to pray again! I've no doubt that accounts for the fact that your post above sounds more hopeful than some of your posts in the recent past. God is answering our prayers for you and your prayers for yourself and your family. I'm thrilled to read that! He is faithful, and He will complete what He has begun in you.
Reb, again, remember that God holds you responsible for the spiritual leadership of your family. He does not hold your wife responsible for it. You will be the one who will answer to Him for how you led and loved your wife and son.
So, I suggest that you specifically pray for God to show you how to handle your son's church-going. He's emotionally "caught" if he feels he must lie about church to his mom and/or to you. Dropping him off at the SDA church just to keep family peace is not necessarily good for him.
You really need to see this as a serious situation, Reb. Ask God to convict you of His will for you in how you handle this issue with your son. Your son needs you to represent God truthfully and with respect for Him, and he also needs you to help him understand that God doesn't ask him to live in fear of someone else's emotional manipulation or aggression.
Praying for you, Reb...
Colleen |
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