| Author | Message | ||
| Ric_b Registered user Username: Ric_b Post Number: 706 Registered: 7-2004  |
a little humor that those familiar with Lutheran synods might find some extra laughs within. I posted this on CARM earlier today and thought I would share it here as well. What if.... SDAs formed different church bodies based on aspects of their beliefs in the same manner that Lutherans do. We might have: Evangelical Adventist Synod (EAS) -- You must only agree to the 28 FB in so far as you believe that they accurately reflect Scripture. Which basically means it is up to each person which ones they will accept or reject, but whichever they choose is fine. EGW's writings are inspirational, but not necessarily true. All other SDAs and all other Christians are welcome to participate fully in all aspects of the church. Footwashing is skipped because it reduces attendance at communion. Instead of traditional Sabbath School lessons prepared by the church, classes study whatever books they choose. This church is likely to be running a 40 days of purpose soon. Potlucks have been replaced by dining together at local restaurants after church. Many members send their kids to public schools. Church socials involve bowling, pizza, and a movie. Washington SDA Synod (WSS)-- The 28 FB are important. If you are going to disagree with any, do so quietly and you can stay. EGW's writings are important but not quoted directly very often. The Clear Word is the popular choice for a Bible because it contains her ideas without having to quote her directly. One adult SS class uses the collegiate quarterly in order to liven up the study time. Footwashing is optional. EASs are viewed as dangerous liberals, but they are welcome to attend and participate. This church can't make up its mind how to view other Christians, some want to emphasize that we are all brothers and equals in Christ while others think that rejecting the 28 FB means that someone isn't as "fully Christian" as they are. They will work with other Christians on community projects, but fear too much ecumenical influence. Members generally send their kids to SDA schools. Desserts are the highlight of potluck, and no one freaks out if a visitor happens to bring a meat dish. Half the congregation will line up to get the meat dish before it runs out, explaining to the other half (who would never consider touching meat) that they were only doing this to help make the people feel welcome. Seventh-day Adventist Churches Battlecreek (SDACB)-- The SDA name must be primary for this group of SDA churches. Headquartered in Battlecreek, this group upholds the historic roots of the church. The 28 FB may have too much compromise with the world. EGW writings are quoted frequently and authoritatively. The only Bible used is the KJV. All Sabbath School classes are held from the official adult lessons, performed lecture style in the sanctuary. EASs and WASs are backslidden heretics who need to be re-baptized if they wish to join the SDACB. Only members can participate in communion and footwashing is required. SDA schools have become too liberal. Members homeschool and/or send children to self-supporting schools. The person bringing a potluck dish with cheese is taken aside a quietly spoken to about Sister White's instructions. The dish is not served. | ||
| Reb Registered user Username: Reb Post Number: 389 Registered: 5-2007 |
Good one, Ric. I like it. | ||
| Grace_alone Registered user Username: Grace_alone Post Number: 683 Registered: 6-2006  |
Ric - "This church is likely to be running a 40 days of purpose soon." No joke! Haha  Leigh Anne | ||
| Jorgfe Registered user Username: Jorgfe Post Number: 409 Registered: 11-2005 |
Rick, that is great! There is so much truth in your examples. I remember attending a particular country SDA church for a short while, until I found out that my wife and I were "on probation" while the "leaders" evaluated "our characters" to see if we were in harmony with the particular perspectives of these leaders. They had decided to notify us that they were "extending our probationary period" (which we knew nothing about!) since my wife was on bed rest due to a pending pregnancy. At this time we were staunch believers in Ellen White, and the church group even more so. We had thought we were just fellowshipping with the group! The leadership had known us for a significant our lives. Needless to say, we decided that this particular group was not compatible with our understanding of the meaning of Christian fellowship. The Roman Catholic Church has always fascinated me in this regard. They don't seem to feel as threatened by dissenting viewpoints. They just create "orders" for each group with differing opinions. Gilbert Jorgensen | ||
| Jonah Registered user Username: Jonah Post Number: 13 Registered: 3-2006 |
very funny Ric!!! This made me laugh out loud. J | ||
| Lucybugg Registered user Username: Lucybugg Post Number: 43 Registered: 2-2007 |
This is too funny! The last SDA church I attended was a mixture of the first two with a few of #3 types thrown in. | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 3997 Registered: 3-2004  |
Ric, How funny!! I can barely wait to see what the CARM members have to say about it. You know, if I did not laugh, I would cry because I have seen so much of all the "junk" in the SDA church. God is ao awesome in drawing each of us out. Thank you. Diana | ||
| Timmy Registered user Username: Timmy Post Number: 199 Registered: 8-2006  |
Ric, That is so sad but I can't stop laughing. No wonder they can't seem to be on the same page about anything. I think all three mind sets sat on the same boards I wuz on. We couldn't agree on what he Elders and Deacons should wear to participate in the service....(tie or no tie, suit or no suit) | ||
| Jorgfe Registered user Username: Jorgfe Post Number: 411 Registered: 11-2005 |
Perhaps it depends on whether they pictured themselves wearing "priestly attire" or clothing themselves with "garments of vengeance". http://www.earlysda.com/christexp/christian-experiences.html Gilbert Jorgensen | ||
| Ric_b Registered user Username: Ric_b Post Number: 707 Registered: 7-2004 |
To clue in those who have no idea about Lutheran synods, there are 3 main ones in the US. ELCA--Doctrine is downplayed more than the others. The emphasis is more on ecumenicalism. They have a looser view of the Lutheran beliefs than the other synods (for example ELCA agrees with the beliefs as far as they agree with Scripture where WELS--see below--agrees that these beliefs accurately teach Scripture. ELCA practices open communion. Scripture is not considered infallible. Far more likely to have contemporary services. LCMS is the middle of the road Lutheran synod. It has factions pulling it in either direction, often in the same congregation. Drums, bands and contemporary services are controversial, but occur in this group. They believe that the Bible is the infallible Word of God. Communion practices range from only members of the local congregation (unless you have a note from your home church pastor) to essentially open to all. WELS split from LCMS because LCMS was compromising too much with the world. A WELS member would often rather attend a public school than even an LCMS school, and certainly prefer the public over another denominations school. Communion is for the members of the local congregation (with a few exception made at the discretion of the pastor). I can't imagine that any WELS church has a contemporary service. They do not believe in participating in ecumenical activities such as Promise Keepers or Boy Scouts. Perhaps these will help you to further see the splits I determined for SDAism. | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 4001 Registered: 3-2004 |
Where did you post this? I looked for it and did not see it. Diana | ||
| Ric_b Registered user Username: Ric_b Post Number: 709 Registered: 7-2004 |
http://www.christiandiscussionforums.org/v/showpost.php?p=1610546&postcount=17 | ||
| Flyinglady Registered user Username: Flyinglady Post Number: 4005 Registered: 3-2004 |
Thanks, Diana | ||
| Colleentinker Registered user Username: Colleentinker Post Number: 6335 Registered: 12-2003  |
Rick, that is just too funny!! I guess it's so funny because it's so true. I especially liked the closing characterizations of each group that revealed the food fettishes of each group. Yup--if you want to know what "camp" and Adventist is in, watch what he eats. Too funny! Colleen | ||
| Stevendi Registered user Username: Stevendi Post Number: 168 Registered: 10-2006 |
Ric, Excellent layout for the (future or present?) fragmentation of SDA! Incidently, about 4 years ago, just before leaving SDA, our church did the 40 day thing. I was all over it, excited. I did my homework, prayed and listed out my purpose and gift statements. There was absolutely no follow up, nothing. It was as if "well, we got through THAT religious exercise, now what'll we do?" My take away from your post is that it confirms, for me at least, that Adventism is dead as we knew it. It is a dead body decomposing into separate groups of rotting lifeless mush. It reminds me of this: "I thought of a rather cruel trick I once played on a wasp. He was sucking jam on my plate and I cut him in half. He paid no attention, merely went on with his meal, while a tiny stream of jam trickled out of his severed esophagos. Only when he tried to fly away did he grasp the dreadful thing that had happened to him. It is the same with modern man. The thing that has been cut away is his soul." George Orwell steve | ||
| Susan_2 Registered user Username: Susan_2 Post Number: 2414 Registered: 11-2002 |
Ric, as an ELCA member who weekly attends a service at the Missouri Synod church because the time of the servive is more harmonious to my schedule I will say I truly enjoyed your SDA spin on it. BTW, my favorite website is www.oldlutheran. com. It's a good one. Go to the humor section and be prepared to laugh so hard tears will be gushing from your eyes. |
