| Author |
Message |
Helovesme2
Registered user
Username: Helovesme2
Post Number: 192
Registered: 8-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 7:01 am: |     |
Welcome Haroldo!
I look forward to hearing more of your story as well as Patria's! Welcome to the forum.
Mary |
Chris
Registered user
Username: Chris
Post Number: 780
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 7:01 am: | |
Patria, Greeting from Lincoln, NE! Almost all of us have been through very difficult times with our SDA families and are still struggling with these relationship. It takes great courage to take the journey that you did. You did not have to follow where Christ was leading, but you did and for that obedience you will receive blessings that will ultimately be far greater than anything a life in Adventism can provide.
Brian Herbal cotacted me this morning to say that you had posted here and to ask me to make a post for him (he's not registered on FAF). Brian asked me to tell you that there are several of us here in Lincoln that are praying for you and your husband. We have been praying for you since we heard the news of your journey. I believe you know several people involved in our Lincoln FAF group. If you would like to be added to our Lincoln FAF e-mail group, please contact me at ambulater@neb.rr.com.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everythin by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:6-7
Chris Lee |
Melissa
Registered user
Username: Melissa
Post Number: 872
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 7:12 am: | |
Welcome, Patriar. I know you will find comfort and peace in the fellowship here. |
Tisha
Registered user
Username: Tisha
Post Number: 49
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 8:35 am: | |
Welcome Patria and Haroldo!
I was SO SCARED when I thought of leaving the SDA "truth". My husband and I left together so that was such a comfort. Most of our friends have drifted away. Although we've not faced any condemnation from others, it feels just as bad to know that no one even misses us!
We left about three years ago and have found a wonderful Bible-based Church family. Every day I'm amazed at the JOY I now feel. It is so different than how I felt when I was SDA. To understand God's grace and KNOW I AM SAVED is such a blessing. We are making new friends and are involved with our new Church. Even the politics are different when everyone is coming from a place of God-given love for each other.
Anyway - I just want to welcome you and let you know IT WILL FEEL BETTER as time goes by. Focus on Jesus and the Bible and everything else will seem less frightening and hurtful.
I will keep you and your families in my prayers.
-tisha |
Becky
Registered user
Username: Becky
Post Number: 11
Registered: 2-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 9:11 am: | |
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:34-35. Hmmm, search the Bible as I might, I just don't find anything that calls us to use guilt, intimidation or any other strong arm tactics to make us Jesus's disciples. The nastier they get, the more I pray you can be secure in your decision!
I'm praying for all of you,
Becky |
Freeatlast
Registered user
Username: Freeatlast
Post Number: 367
Registered: 5-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 9:58 am: | |
Patriar, you can't leave the Truth unless you leave Jesus. Jesus IS the Truth!
Two sections of Scripture that were particularly helpful to me as I struggled to tolerate the fear and guilt tactics employed against me are:
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God; Who hath saved us, and called [us] with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began, But is now made manifest by the appearing of our Saviour Jesus Christ, who hath abolished death, and hath brought life and immortality to light through the gospel:" 2 Tim 1:7-10
and
"Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God. And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. We love him, because he first loved us."
1 John 4:15-19
God loves you with a perfect love. You have nothing to fear. Jesus' usual greeting was "fear not, your sins have been forgiven you.". How comforting!
Welcome! May you find the grace, peace, and comfort you need in this time of tremendous emotion and growth.
|
Jeremy
Registered user
Username: Jeremy
Post Number: 645
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 12:16 pm: | |
Another wonderful passage of Scripture is this:
"For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, 'Abba! Father!' The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us." (Romans 8:15-18 NASB.)
Jeremy |
Patriar
Registered user
Username: Patriar
Post Number: 9
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 12:41 pm: | |
Thank you all so very much for your words of encouragement; for the Scripture passages that are a balm to my spirit and for your kind acceptance. And yes, it is a huge blessing that my husband and I have both come to these Truths at the same time. We are both profoundly grateful.
Chris: Thank you for letting me know about the FAF in Lincoln. We'll actually be in Lincoln next weekend for my nephew's graduation. It would be wonderful to talk.
We do have mutual friends and it's nice to finally figure out who you are...I KNEW I recognized your picture, but could not place where I recognized you from. I worked with your mother-in-law in college.
Please tell Brian thank you...and thank you too for taking the time to be in touch. Blessings to you all.
Patria |
Colleentinker
Registered user
Username: Colleentinker
Post Number: 1930
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 1:11 pm: | |
Haroldo--I'm happy to see you here! Welcome! (Haroldo, BTW, is the one who wrote the article on Matthew 5 in the Jan/Feb Proclamation.)
My "current favorite" Bible text is Philippians 4:4-7. "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. the Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Notice the 4 commands--in order?
1. Rejoice in the Lord
2. Let your gentleness be evident to all (not possible for humans if we're not rejoicing in the LOrd!)
3. Do not be anxious about anything (again, not possible without rejoicing in the Lord!)
4. In everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God.
Then there's the promise for those who take these four commands seriously: The peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard our HEARTS and our MINDS in Christ Jesus.
In Jesus is our security, peace, joy, confidenceóHe is awesome!
Colleen |
Tisha
Registered user
Username: Tisha
Post Number: 50
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 1:45 pm: | |
I just love seeing all these great texts in one place. I'm making "flash cards" of each one so I can put them up on my desk at work. They are all so comforting. I love seeing them in front of me while I'm working. Thanks to all of you for sharing each one of your "favorites" -- at least for the moment! Isn't it wonderful how no matter what we cry out for, there is an answer in the Bible for us. God is just so good!
-tisha |
Riverfonz
Registered user
Username: Riverfonz
Post Number: 279
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 2:02 pm: | |
Welcome Haroldo, I liked your article in Proclamation! I also checked out your blogspot awhile back, and maybe you would like to give out your blog address. Stan |
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady
Post Number: 1476
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 6:17 pm: | |
Welcome to FAF Haroldo,
I look forward to hearing more of your adventure out of adventism.
I will have to look at the proclamation with you article again. I read them as soon as I get it.
Diana |
Dd
Registered user
Username: Dd
Post Number: 436
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 8:52 pm: | |
Welcome Patriar and Haroldo! I have been unable to check the forum the last week as life is on fast-forward speed. This thread is what greeted me when I checked in! How uplifting to hear all your encouragement and praises for God. I love everyones shared Scripture. THANK YOU ALL FOR SHARING AND ALLOWING GOD TO TALK DIRECTLY TO ME TONIGHT!
Chris, Welcome back. I've missed hearing your "voice". |
Chris
Registered user
Username: Chris
Post Number: 782
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 6:42 am: | |
Thanks Dd! It's good to be back.
Chris |
Susan_2
Registered user
Username: Susan_2
Post Number: 1807
Registered: 11-2002
| | Posted on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 2:58 pm: | |
Unlike many on here my entire goal as a child was to not be SDA when I grew up. Unfortunatelly it just hasn't been that easy with diehard immediate family that try to keep me somehow having to attend SDA services and who make sure to have SDA magazines all over there houses when I visit and have on SDA tv programs when I visit as well has the Kings Harolds and Del Delker records spinning on the record player! I used to sit through numerous actual sermons about the greatnessof freedom of religion. Sadly, I was nieve enough to honestly believe that ment that whatever religion I wanted to embrase when I grew up would be welcomed with enthusiam from my SDA kin. NOT! When SDA's spout off about freedom of religion they don't mean those who wish to leave SDA'ism is cool with them. Welcome to the newbees. |
Dt
Registered user
Username: Dt
Post Number: 35
Registered: 4-2005
| | Posted on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 3:10 pm: | |
Susan_2,
Thanks for all your great posts. You just give me a chuckle when need it most.
Fortunately, those family members that know how I feel about EGW are afraid to bring it up, especially around other SDA's or pastors. They know I don't often hold back my thoughts.
Patriar,
God bless you in your continuing walk with Him. |
Patriar
Registered user
Username: Patriar
Post Number: 11
Registered: 3-2005
| | Posted on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 8:48 pm: | |
Susan_2:
Ahhhhh Del Delker and the King's Heralds! and on a record player no less!
Dt:
My family has pretty much quit asking too. I guess I'm a teensy bit passionate when I answer their queries. 
Anyway, thanks for the humor. It feels good to laugh about this! |
Flyinglady
Registered user
Username: Flyinglady
Post Number: 1492
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 8:52 pm: | |
Susan, I always enjoy what and how you say things. Hurry up and get your e-mail back. I send you some good things, but they got sent back to me. I miss writing and sending you things.
Diana |
Tdf
Registered user
Username: Tdf
Post Number: 74
Registered: 11-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 8:34 am: | |
Petriar,
I apologize for the late response. I've been away from my computer for a while. I was moved by your posts about your brother. Especially your comment "my parents feel that we're 'abandoning' them."
My wife and I have received a LOT of attacks from our family, particularly our parents. My dad has been suffering for several years with chronic depression. He's lost a dangerous amount of weight and sleeps about 3-4 hours per night. After we "dropped the bomb" my mother has been relentlessly guilt tripping us, indicating that we are killing my father. At first, this really hurt. Eventually, I saw her actions as what they were--manipulation. My wife and I did not create the problem that my dad faces. My dad has refused to seek mental health therapy (believing instead that there is only a physical source for his problems).
I write this for two reasons: (1) to let you know that you're not alone; and (2) to tell you that no matter how or when you "drop the bomb" it will not be well received. Deep down, you parents probably do love you. However, they are filled with hurt and maybe even anger (such has been the case in our story).
We've finally gotten to the point where we aren't trying to reason with our parents. They don't want to hear it. They have condemned us to hell and we're learning how to deal with that (is there a way to be completely okay with that?).
Leaving is hard. But you have an incredible God who has never left you and will never leave you. As the days turn into months, you'll see His hand in your life and you'll recognize that the freedom that comes from a genuine, grace-filled relationship with Jesus Christ is worth the pain that comes from leaving Adventism.
God bless,
tdf |
Dd
Registered user
Username: Dd
Post Number: 454
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 9:40 am: | |
Someone recently told me that the feelings that I have regarding my parents rejection of me for leaving Adventism goes deeper...they see my rejection of Adventism as a rejection of them. The person who said this to me is not SDA and does not fully understand the "cult" aspects of the religion...but it made me think...THE CHURCH is everything to my parents...they live, breath, work THE CHURCH. The church is who they are. They must see themselves as nothing without the church. This is a sad commentary but I think that it does play into their feelings of rejection to see my husband and I taking our children to Sunday church, going to swimmeets on Saturday...
What do you guys think? Does that make any sense? |
Freeatlast
Registered user
Username: Freeatlast
Post Number: 379
Registered: 5-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 9:43 am: | |
Totally makes sense Dd! I wrote my parents a letter about 6 months ago in which I expressed that Seventh-day Adventism is not just the church they go to each weekend, it is who they have become. It permeates every fiber of their existence, and I don't see any hope for reconciliation until and unless that bondage is broken from them. |
Colleentinker
Registered user
Username: Colleentinker
Post Number: 1986
Registered: 12-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 10:35 am: | |
Yes, Dd, I agree. Adventism is WHO Adventists ARE. In that sense, our Adventist parents and friends experience our leaving as a personal rejection. From experience, though, I know that there are nuances of reaction that are different from simple "rejection" of them as people. Quite honestly, if we left and went into the world--even if we blatantly left, had our names dropped from membership, and publicly announced our leaving, our Adventist family wouldn't be nearly so angry. They would have the sympathy of their fellow SDAs; they would have something clear cut to pray over; they wouldn't have nearly the feeling of being rejected that they have if we leave and find Jesus and become involved in a Sunday church.
I believe that some of the subliminal forces at work include a deep seated fear on their part when we leave for Jesus. It's not just rejection; it's anger that we have acted on the doubts they have submerged. It's fear that they really MIGHT be wrong. It's also fear of exposure. Adventism hides a great many inconsistencies and sins, and challenging them to examine truth would mean admitting the sin and denial of their own lives.
In many ways, when we leave Adventism, it's similar to when a person leaves an abusive family and reveals the secrets, thus breaking the intergenerational commitment to hiding and pretending and keepng secrets. If one person leaves the family and tells the truth, the rest of the family immediately feels vulnerable and exposed--"what will people now think of me? What will people find out about me?"
In many ways the anger of the Adventists we "leave" is far deeper and more damaging than is the feeling of rejection if a person simply ebels and rejects a parent. That hurts deeply, but it doesn't threaten the parents' identity in nearly as profound a way.
Finding Jesus and leaving Adventism is leaving darkness and walking into light. Jesus said the darkness cannot hide from the light, and even though the darkness tries to hide from the light, it cannot. The light of Jesus overcomes darkness. Those who still want to hide in darkness fear the light, because deep down they know it is more powerful than the darkness, and it is truthful.
So, yes--there is anger because they feel rejected, but I think it goes beyond personal rejection. They feel exposed. Their desperate attempts to control their own lives are being shown up for what they are: frail human works that count for nothing in God's sight.
When people leave Adventism for the sake of Jesus, that leaving IS a call to honesty and repentance to those still in the denomination. That call is what makes them so angry. They don't want to admit even to themseles how hollow and needy and hopeless they are. They don't want to admit they might be wrong.
Bob, who posts on this forum, has a great question that I sometimes borrow when I'm commuinicating with Adventists: "If what you believe is not true, would you want to know?"
Colleen
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